Helmets & Pointe Shoes

Bad Cheerleading and The "Jake Shake"

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Jace Taylor

                I awoke on the floor wondering what I was doing here. I must have not been rolling on my bed. The floor was seriously uncomfortable so I slowly got up and plopped down on my bed. The events from yesterday came rushing back to me and began to laugh at what the future held. I would get to see Aylss bore herself through a whole period of football and see hot girls. All thanks to The Electric Player!!!

                Not this again! My conscience whined.

                What do you want with me conscience? I asked.

                For you to stop with your stupid The Electric Player thing.

                But it’s what the ladies will call me!

                No they won’t! It’s embarrassing me and you need to get a life!

                But I thought I had a life? Isn’t that why I’m breathing?

                How do people think you’re smart or cool? You’re like a brick with holes!

                I don’t get it…

                Never mind. Peace out.

                I was getting weirder and weirder…

                I got up from my bed and took a short shower and threw a towel around my hips. I opened a closet and got out some khaki shorts and a black shirt that said, “Oh, na na. What’s my name?” and on the back, “Perry.” I threw it over my head and grabbed some DC shoes. I jogged down the stairs and headed to the kitchen.

                I grabbed a donut from a Publix branded box and threw it on a plate and into the microwave. I decided that if I was going to impress the ladies today that I needed my “Jace Shake” to get me pumping. I took the blender bowl to the middle of the island. I cut an orange and squeezed its contents into the bowl along with some milk. I added an egg yolk and two slices of whole wheat bread. I put the other items that were on the list for the “Jace Shake”. At least I think they were supposed to be in there. I wasn’t so sure about the guacamole.

                But hey! It doesn’t hurt to try something new does it? I placed the bowl back on top of the blender and pressed high while screwing on the top. The microwave beeped numerous times to remind me that my precious donut was done.

                “Would you open the irritating microwave so it will stop that insidious beeping?” My mom said walking into the kitchen with a grouched face on. Usually my mom was a very sweet, kind, and caring person but if you caught her in the early morning you would find yourself dead by the time it was to get to school.  I opened the microwave and took out my donut and quickly pressed the high button on the blender to stop it.

                “Sure mom, you okay?” I asked her tentatively.

                She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. I can’t feel my feet.”

                “Okay, I’m going to go now,” I told her patting her on the head steadily and kissed her forehead. I grabbed my iPhone, donut, “Jace Shake” and my black Wiz Khalifa backpack and headed out the door. I slung myself into the car and pushed the keys into ignition, plugging my iPhone in at the same time. Music immediately began blasting from my speakers and I quickly lowered the volume.