falling in love will kill you ♤ frerard

chapter//nineteen

// a month later; December 1st

nobody will replace you. . . -anyone

Gerard's POV //

Nothing huge has happened since Patrick's funeral. Mikey was there for Pete, and I swear there was something between the two of them, which I frowned upon. Sure, they both needed comfort, but a relationship isn't the way to do that. Especially after your boyfriend just died. Think about that, Pete.

Frank and I are still together, he basically moved in with Mikey and I, well more so just me because Mikey was at Pete (and I guess Frank's?) place. Frank, as far as I know, hasn't painted anything in a while. Sometimes he'd do small sketches and give them to me, but that's about it. And even though I spend so much more time with him now, I still can't bring myself to love him. And I want to love him, but I can't. He doesn't know that though, he knows it'll take time, but he doesn't know that I can't do it; I can't love him, and I want to more than I can even describe.

I decided to take a walk, just to clear my mind. It was dark out and the moon was full, so it was just the perfect time to take a walk. But this was a bad time. Maybe if I waited an hour it would've been okay. But no, I had to be an idiot and go when I did.

"Gerard!" The person called to me. I was going to keep walking, I really was, but the way he said my name made me stop to a halt. Once he reached me, I looked at him.

"Bert," I responded coldly. Bert just smiled at the fact I had acknowledged his presence, fucking prick.

"How have you been?" he asked me, still smiling warmly.

"I've been really good, ya know?" I was going to stop there, but my mouth and brain involuntarily continued. "Life has been so much better without you this past year and a half. I got a new boyfriend, his name is Frank." I paused for a second, before saying once more thing. "I love him, he's just amazing. He doesn't use me like you did, or abuse me." Bert's face fell.

"You don't mean that, do you?" he whispered. I could tell he was high on something. What? I couldn't tell. After all, for a while I was addicted to the same shit he was.

"I do, actually," I snapped. He raised a hand, and add I remembered doing so many times before, I closed my eyes, tensed and took a few steps back. But the impact never came like I thought it would. I finally opened my eyes to see him picking at a scab on his hand.

"Sorry," he hummed. I scowled at him and continued walking, but he managed to grab my arm. "I really am sorry, for everything that I've done." Before I had a chance to respond he kissed me. My knees instantly became weak and my heart softened. I returned the kiss, which was probably a bad move on my part, but I didn't really care. I snaked my arm that he wasn't holding around his waist and moved closer to him, a smile budding on my lips.

Oh how I missed kissing someone I love.

He pulled away and pulled me into a hug. What the fuck Gerard? The logical thinking side of me screamed. But the other side, the one I was listening to, said this was right. That I was supposed to be with Bert, not Frank. And for a moment there, I believed it.

"Let's head back to my place, yeah?"

"Yeah," I replied. He grinned and took my hand, then began leading me to where he lives. I knew I should rip my hand away from his and run the opposite direction, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I wanted to, even, but I didn't.

Once we reached his house (it was an actual house, which surprised me) he led me inside and downstairs, before reattaching his lips to mine. He pulled away quickly and opened a small cupboard, only to pull out a small baggy of pills. Almost instantly I knew what it was. Why try and be subtle; it was ecstasy.

"I was worried that this Frank person had replaced me," he commented.

"No one could ever replace you," Was my reply. He opened the baggy and handed me one of the small, round, white pills. I was going to decline, say no, but instead I took it, just like he expected me to. To him, everything was probably going as he planned it. To me, it was oh, so wrong, yet I went along with it every step of the way.

// Frank's POV; the next morning //

When Gerard didn't come home last night, I got worried. I ended up calling Mikey at one in the morning because I was worried about Gerard, (of course) and Mikey just said if he wasn't home by noon tomorrow to call him again. But I didn't want to wait that long, so I sat on the couch the entire night, awaiting his arrival back home, but it didn't come until ten A.M.

"Gerard," I exclaimed. He smiled and pulled me into a hug. Naturally, I hugged him back. "Where were you?"

"I was visiting Patrick's grave and I ended up falling asleep, I'm sorry to worry you, sugar." I couldn't help but smile when he called me 'sugar' I loved it when he called me that.

"It's alright, Gee. Just try and let me know next time." I pecked his lips and smiled. "You hungry? I can make us something to eat?" I offered, but he just shook his head.

"I'm good, but thank you for the offer," he responded. I nodded and went to Mikey's bedroom. Because he's never here, Gerard and I agreed that I should stay in here for the time being. I collapsed on Mikey's bed, only to fall asleep soon after.

//

I woke up just as it was beginning to get dark. I scowered the house in search of Gerard, only to find him watching TV on the couch. "Frankie!" He chirped when he noticed me. I grinned in response and sat down next to him. He snuggled up into my side as he resumed watching whatever he was watching.

After maybe ten minutes he kissed me. It was needy, but I returned it with the eagerness he desired. He adjusted his position so he was now straddling me, with his hands on my hips. I didn't know why he was suddenly so eager to do this, but I also didn't really mind.

So that night Gerard decided it would be a good idea to have me lose my virginity to him, and I gladly went along with it.

And if you're wondering, Gerard topped.

- *cries bc what i did was mean and it hurt me* *annoying popular girl voice* HAAYYY!!!! sooo this is depressingly short, ooops. the majority of the rest of the story will be in frank's POV because i can't write certain things and i'm sorry (not really), haha oops. i have no shame in how i'm going to end this story. haha you'll all hurt me

At The Bottom - Brand New (because i can't think of anything else, sorry Xx)

-kota //