Have you ever felt like such a failure, everything you do is wrong, and someone just has to rub it in your face?
I honestly didn't need a reminder of how stupid I am, but today, the universe begged to differ.
Now, sometime last year, I took the ASVAB, it's another aptitude like the SAT and ACT, but for the military. I didn't take the test seriously last year, and I got lucky enough to score a sixty.
Today, I really wanted to do good, because the military is probably my next move after highschool, so I need to ace this shit. But, no. It was the most confusing thing on earth, I swear, I can still see black bubble when I blink.
After the three excruciatingly long hours of testing on things I have no clue on, we had a NHS meeting. Then lunch, then Pre Calc.
Math in general is such an awful thing already, but I shit you not, Pre Calc. is on a whole new lower level of hell (deeper towards the pit). I love my math teacher, she is such an amazing woman, and my life goals, but the subject she teaches *inserts sarcastic laughter* not the shit.
I'm not going to bore you with the details of synthetic division; I basically felt like an idiot for four straight hours. My English and Chemistry classes didn't relieve me of that feeling. (I felt like an idiot the whole day, pretty much)
Finally, the universe's way of sending a cake frosted on top with a reminder of how much of a dumb ass you are, came to me in the form of my tutoree (ex tutor person, I'm hopefully gonna find a new one by next week).
Now, my tutor session was suppose to be fun, even redeeming a bit, after an entire day of unproductivity, I wanted to try to teach the shit out of someone (and learn shit from the other tutor volunteers, cause heck, I need tutoring). But, no, even my tutor person, albeit the fact he doesn't need tutoring, knew I was too stupid for that shit too.
Normally, I'd be totally chill, but damn! Today, it felt like a bitch slap. Even this guy (who is smart, but just extremely lazy) didn't want to learn jack crap from me. Or even pretend to learn shit from me, cause I'm an idiot that doesn't have a future because I don't know how to balance valance shells in shorthand notation, and use synthetic division to solve a polynomial, and I can't finish my second draft essay on some poem analysis, AND I CANT GET INTO THE MILITARY BECAUSE I FORGOT HOW TO SOLVE FOR PERCENTAGES!!!!!!
I fucking cannot. I literally hope I get at least a fucking fifteen on my dang ASVAB, cause man, I don't want to be too stupid for the military.
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Miscellaneous
Short StoryI'm writing a book about the things that keeps me up at night. This will be my rant book basically. Please don't try to overanalyze the things I write here, I try not to be cryptic. And if you know me, personally I mean, please don't think I'm distu...
