The Sharpest Lives. (on hold.)

Three Cheers to Depression

I look around, frantically, searching for my razor. I know it's here, and I just need a way to let everything out. Just one little cut. It won't matter, nobody has to know. Maybe I dropped it under the bed. I kneel down, and lift up the edge of the blanket, and peer underneath, looking for the glint of sweet steel. Aha! I quickly extend my arm, reaching for the little piece of metal, that can tear me apart at times. I know I'll regret this later, but I just need to- 

"Gerard!" I hear Mikey call out to me, from upstairs, "..aren't you supposed to be meeting up with Frank?"

I take a shaky breath in, and yell to him, "Yeah, Mikes, 'm leaving soon!"

Fuck. He's right, I still have to meet Frank, or he'll know something's wrong.. I stare down at the cold metal blade in my palm. One cut wouldn't have mattered much, would it have? Would it still? I slowly bring the blade to my wrist, and press down. I see little droplets of blood stain its surface, and hold my breath in, as I bring it across the skin. I release my breath, as I see the newly made cut on my wrist begin to bleed more. Shit, I didn't mean to make it too deep..

I sigh as I set the razor down on my desk, and run my fingers through my hair. I open the drawer on the bottom right, and grab some bandaging for my wrist, and slowly begin to wrap it. Once I'm finished, I pull the sleeve to my hoodie down, and brace myself to go meet Frank.

I still feel a bit raw about the other day, when him and Mikey overheard my depression kick in. The thing is, I'm supposed to take these pills, that help me so I'm not so down all the time, but I ran out not too long ago, so I'm kind of ..relapsing? back into my depression. I still haven't gotton a chance to talk to Frank about what happened, or anything. Including how we basically cuddled each other on my couch..

*** Frank's POV

I glance around the small coffee shop, as I wait for Gerard to meet me. Maybe he's not coming. Maybe he just forgot. I sigh, as I mess with the lid on my cup of coffee, which is getting cold. I'm just getting ready to count my losses, and leave, when I hear the familiar chime that means someone has entered the shop, and I look up. I'm met with Gerard's gaze, as he drops down to the seat across from me. "Hi, Frankie."

"Hey, I was starting to think you forgot about me.."

"Forget, you? I could never..!" he says as he feigns hurt, and lifts his hand to his chest. When he does this, his sleeve slips down a bit, and I catch a small glimpse of gauze, wrapped around his wrist. He notices, and quickly lowers his hand, running the other through his hair.

"Listen, Frankie, I need to talk to you.." he begins, "..about the other day, I was really distressed because, I normally take these pills that help me with depression, and I ran out a couple weeks back, and haven't gotton around to getting more." He stops, hesitant about what he's already said.

"..And your wrist?" I ask, gesturing to the bandaging that is wrapped around his wrist.

"And that, I did today. I got upset just before I came to meet you - that's why I was late - and cut myself.."

At that moment, I swear I could feel my heart break, just a little bit more. He shouldn't have to deal with this shit. Ever. I just wish I knew how to help..

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Sorry it's taken so long for me to update, I've honestly gotton a bit bored with this fic now, but I'm trying to start it back up. I've also been kinda stressed about school, it being the end of the year and all.. I wanted to wait until this had atleat 100 reads, but I doubt it was gonna happen, so whatever, update! I'll try to write on this again quicker this time. I've also been thinking about starting a new fic aside this, with Frerard, and Maybe some Pikey thrown in. So look out for that..

Love you guys, -unicornkid xo.