The Sharpest Lives. (on hold.)

I'm Not Okay

Mmkay, so here's the update, I'm not so sure I'm happy with it..but here it is. Now, I'm gonna dedicate this story to my friend on here. She's really cool, and went through some shit recently, so I wanna help her feel better. So shoutout to KittyKat_the_Killjoy!! Hope everything goes okay, hon.

-unicornkid xo.

______________________

"Gee?" Mikey says worriedly, taking a step towards his older brother. "You okay?"

Gerard turned around, startled. "M-Mikes?" he paused, "y-you heard..?"

"Yeah, Gee.." Mikey sounded so concerned for his brother. 

Gerard sighed again, and slightly tugged his hand through his hair. "I'm fine Mikes, trust me."

I turned to Mikey to see his reaction, and he just shot his head down, looking stressed himself. He started walking to his room, upstairs. "I'll be in my room, Gee, Frank.." and he disappears beyond his door.

 I walk over toward Gerard, who now had his head stuffed into a pillow. "Y'know, I thought you called me over to cheer him up.."

"Mui Dwid," His voice was muffled by the pillow, which I quickly snagged from him. "Didn't mean to upset him.. he wasn't supposed to hear, thought you were busy.." he mumbled.

I sigh, "Yeah, I know.." I loosely began, remembering some of the words he was singing, 'singing songs that make you slit your wrists', "Uh, Gerard?"

"Hm, Frankie?" he runs a hand through his hair.

"Do you, uhm," God how do I put this.. "Do you, cut yourself?" I said the last part so quietly, it was almost silent. Gerard just gave me this, shocked, look, then let his eyes wander to the ground, followed by silence. Well, I guess that's my answer..

"Gee..it's okay," I pull him into a hug. "I know how you feel.. I'm here for you, and so is Mikey.." I feel wetness on my tee shirt, and hear muffled sobs coming loose here and there. I slowly begin to trace circles on his back, in a reassuring way. God, I've never been good at comforting people.. I hear his sobs begin to fade, as Mikey walks back down the stairs.

"Is he okay?" Mikey asks reluctantly, "Can I help?"

"I think he'll be fine, just upset. I'm doing my best to comfort him, Mikes."

"Okay, I'll go make some coffee for him.." he says, walking toward the kitchen. I hear rattling noises of mugs and such, when I pull Gerard from my chest. 

I look at his eyes, and I can see the hurt, he's still letting out little whimpers now and then, and he seems so broken.. "Gee," I say, and gently wipe the tears from his eyes. "You okay?"

"No, Frankie, I'm not okay.." he whines, and I see the tears come back. I grab his hand, and give it a soft squeeze.

"Here ya go, GeeGee.." Mikey hands him a mug, full of searing hot coffee, that he gladly accepts, and gulps down in a few seconds. I swear he inhales coffee..

He hands the cup back, "Thanks, Mikes." and Mikey goes back to the kitchen.

Gerard turns to me, and I feel him squeezing on my hand. Oh shit, we're still holding hands, huh? I forgot, fuck. He pulls me into a hug, and we lean against the sofa, I feel him, snuggling? Yeah, he's trying to fucking snuggle me. I just pull him closer, I'm not going to object to this.

"Frankie," I hear him mumble into my chest.

"Hm?"

"Why're you so nice to me?" he pulls his head away, and looks to my eyes.

"Because, you need me, and I want to help you."

"But why? Nobody else cares.. why do you?" he's still looking at my eyes, any other time it would make me uncomfortable to be in this position, but right now, it just feels..right.

"Because, Gee. Do I really need a reason," I poke the tip of his nose, "I just wanna be here for you. Don't worry about anything else, mmkay?" he giggles at me. I feel him hold me closer, again.

"Okay, Frankie." after that, we just sat there, cuddled into the sofa, a few times I could see that Mikey wanted to come try to talk to Gee, but he didn't disturb us.