We Don't Believe What's on TV

Chapter Three - Here Comes Santa Claus

It was two weeks 'til Christmas. Phil and I had only bought a few gifts when we'd gone shopping, but we really hadn't planned anything...which was why I was stuck at home, avoiding my laptop and the internet in general. I didn't want to see everything that was doubtlessly pouring in on the internet. Even if I didn't, it would still be there, constantly nibbling at the back of my brain.

"Dan," said Phil as he caught me for the second time, pigging out on chocolate in the lounge, staring at the television but not paying attention to the show that was on, "Go do something productive. You've just been moping around all day."

I cringed. I didn't need a reality check.

"Ha ha, no thanks, Phil. You go be productive."

"Nobody means any of it, you know." The expression on his face was unreadable. NO matter how closely I knew Phil, it seemed to me that he was always a step ahead of me, emotionwise.

"What's up?" I said. "I was meaning to ask you last night, but meeting Lauren and all... I mean, I forgot. But you seem kind of sad. Is anything wrong?"

"No? No. I'm fine. It's just that, er, my fish died." He said.

He was a terrible liar. Did we even have fish?

"Well, I'm going to my room. I have to..." he turned to go.

"Phil?" I said. I didn't know what was going on, and I wasn't sure how to comfort him. I'd never really been good with sympathy. I turned on the sofa to look back at him leaving the room. "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, Tyler's coming over tomorrow to film a video."

"OK." He called back. "Tyler Oakley?"

"The one and only," I replied. Maybe I would bring Phil into the video too.

I settled back into the sofa, sticking my hand back into the bag and fishing out another chocolate coated malt ball and rolling it around in my already sticky fingers. I'm such a mess, I chuckled to myself. Dan isn't good at existing. How hilarious.

As I peeled off a slightly melted Malteser off the bottom of the bag, my phone began ringing. I sucked the chocolate off my fingers and wiped them on my jeans, crushing the candy in my mouth and reached over for my cell phone.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hey Dan, you want to see When Stars Collide - Tyler's in town and he wants to go see it, we could meet with him?" Phil asked, his tinny voice issuing from my phone.

"You spork, you're literally in the other room, why can't you just come to the lounge?" I laughed.

"I'm playing online pinball! I can't just get up and leave." I was sure he could feel my eyes rolling at him from where I sat. No wonder he sounded so strange - I was on speakerphone. "Do you want to go? Or do you want to sit around and mope?"

"And I'm the unproductive one?" I snorted. "Alright, mate-o, I'm coming." I said, getting up. I had forgotten about the chocolates in my lap, which fell to the floor and crunched under my foot when I stood up. "Shitballs."

"What's wrong?" asked Phil. I could hear his real voice from the other room.

"My Maltesers spilled," I grumbled. "Oh, whatever. I'll pick them up. See you later, Philly."

"Same to you, my Dan-kun," he replied.

I arrived at the front door with my black rain jacket on - even if it wasn't raining or snowing today, it was undeniably cold. I felt apprehensive about being squeezed into the underground or a bus at this late hour, but when I voiced my thoughts aloud to Phil, he laughed.