We Don't Believe What's on TV

Chapter Seven - Fear

Alone.

Completely fucking alone, completely fucking isolated was the way I felt the next day, sitting in the hotel room on my couch, wrapped up in the thin sheet from last night.

Yes, Tyler Oakley was there, sleeping, a few feet away from me.

Yes, being in this close proximity with Tyler Oakley was an opportunity thousands of girls (and boys) would die for.

But he wasn't really my close friend.

He wasn't really my best friend.

He wasn't Phil-

Goddamnit.

Why was I thinking about Phil? Why was I feeling so regretful? Jesus Christ.

Phil was nothing.

I was nothing.

Just then, my phone rang, cutting through the silence like a blade and waking Tyler up. I didn't make a move to answer it. I honestly was too tired to care.

Tyler sat up, rubbing his eyes and squinting at me before putting on his glasses. "Aren't you going to answer that?"

"Nnng."

"Ugh." He turned around, still in bed, to stretch out over the floor and reach my phone lying there. "It's someone named Lauren."

I held out my hand, and he threw it to me, but at the same moment, it stopped ringing.

"You going to call her back?"

I pondered a moment. Why should I? I kind of liked her, but at the same time, I didn't feel very functional this morning.

"She anyone special?"

"What?" I said quickly. "No, not really..."

Tyler raised his eyebrows.

"Well, my show starts later this afternoon," he said. "Wanna come? I guess you could like, help out or something."

"Okay," I replied, since there really was no point staying here and moping about.

Tyler ordered room service breakfast for two and didn't let me pay my half.

While we ate, Tyler began asking questions again.

"But why. The. Hell. Are you not living with Phil anymore." He said for the millionth time.

"Okay fine. It's like this," I began, and unraveled the tale that was putting so much on my mind.

I explained how I had met Lauren and Sienna, how we'd instantly bonded, and how Phil had been acting like a twat the whole time we knew them, and how he was really down and boring (I felt sort of bad saying the words, but my anger was more than enough to overtake that feeling.) and how Jared and broken up with Lauren and Lauren had needed me, but at the same time Phil and Chris and I had planned the whole sleepover thing, and how Phil had freaked out and kicked me out of the house.

"And then I go, 'Are you fucking kicking me out?," I said, agitated, "And he says, 'I don't care where you go as it's nowhere near me!' What the fuck, right?"

Tyler didn't say anything.

"Like," I tried to further justify my point to Tyler, since he seemed too skeptical, "He just kicked me out, all over this stupid thing. It's not like I meant to, right? I'm allowed to have other friends. It doesn't always have to be Dan and Phil."

"And then you went to the party." Said Tyler, sipping his tea.

"...Yeah. But that's not the point."