Fighter (Remastered)

Chapter 15: Don't Wanna End Up Like You

I was still so angry at her for not telling me. I could have prevented this from happening. I could have helped Jade before she got real bad but she didn't fucking tell me. I need to protect her and Naomi prevented me from doing that. I couldn't understand why. I probably wouldn't be able to. I could have lost my sister. I couldn't lose her. I couldn't lose another person I care about. Not again.

Brendan was here to help this time. He knew about it as well. No one was telling me shit. If they would have told me I would have been able to help her before hand. The only reason I'm here, is to help Jade. That's what I keep telling myself. There's this other side of my mind that keeps telling me "You love her, just talk to her. You know you miss her" and I want to but I can't. I'm too angry.

Brendan was at the gym and Naomi was in her room. Jade came out of her room, she looked at me with sad eyes. She didn't tell me what happened with Dana. She seemed different when she got back. "Tommy..." She spoke so quietly, so soft. She sounded just like Ma. She looked so sad, so hurt. She came and sat next to me. "I got myself into this. I shouldn't have been with her but I fucked up. Now I'm here, a fucking drug addict who just got fucked over by the person who got me started on it. Now I'm just here and I don't wanna be here." It hurt. It hurt that she felt like this. I wanted to help but I don't know how. I guess I don't really know my sister like I used to.

"Anyways, Tommy, I know you miss her. I can see it. I saw it when you were a kid, I can see it now. Please just go talk to her. " She spoke again, I knew she was right but the words made me angry. I was not going to talk to her. I didn't even know if she wanted me to. "Jade, just stay out of it, alright? I can handle it." I spoke, more harsh then I meant to. I got up and grabbed my sweatshirt, walking out the door. 

I didn't mean to be so angry. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll end up like Pop. Maybe that's why I can't let her in. I don't want to hurt her. I'll just fuck up her life. I can't do that to her. She's better without me. She doesn't need that. I need to find a job. I need to get my own place. I need to get away from Naomi and everyone. I needed to do my own shit and focus. I can't fucking focus when I'm angry and no one will leave me the fuck alone.