Fighter (Remastered)

Chapter 20: No Heat, Constant Nightmares

I cried into Tommy, finally releasing all that pain I've been keeping inside. He said nothing, just held me, kissing the top of my head every now and then and intertwining his fingers with mine. There was no doubt in my mind anymore, I was in love with Tommy Conlon I had always been and that's why it was so hard to love anyone else, they... Just weren't him.

He had been there through everything, through the war he kept me and the rest of the unit strong, him and manny would check on me every night even after Joel's death. It was almost like Joel told Tommy to take care of me, and he did. I looked up at him and his eyes were closed, he looked so calm with me in his arms and I finally felt like that gaping hole in my chest was gone. I realized then that hole was there because he was gone, and I needed him.

I brought my hand gently to his face and he shifted his face, kissing my palm gently and opening his eyes to look at me. "Naomi-"

"I know, Tommy" I whispered. "when you're ready-" his eyes suddenly darkened, like what I said had hurt him.

"It's.. It's not that I don't- I just... Naomi don't say that..." I stood up and out of his arms and he sat there still, wanting to say so much but not knowing how. I hovered over the sink, looking into the mirror at my puffy red eyes, I was still shaking, because I threw up I had sobered up a lot but the buzz was still there. I ran the water and put cold water on my face calming myself down. The heat was still off, soon I'd have enough money saved to catch up on rent but the heat was still an issue. Tommy stood and walked up behind me, looking at my face through the mirror. "There's a bad storm coming tonight" he mumbled and I turned to look at him. "I mean... I... Well, I should... Stay in your room again for uh.. For warmth" I smiled and wrapped my arms around his body, hugging him tightly. Just being with him made me feel warm.

We walked into my room which was freezing cold. Looking out the window I could see the storms already started. I could hear the soft sounds of the tv in the living room where Brendan sat. Jade was sitting with him, her head in his lap and they were covered in blankets. She was still having withdrawals and Brendan was keeping a close eye on her. Koda came running from the living room and straight to me, jumping on me and showering me with kisses, he could feel me drifting off on the car and had Tommy not kept yelling at me to stay awake the whole car ride I probably would've let go.

Tommy suddenly grabbed my waist and pulled me into him, looking into my eyes. "Please don't ever do that again..." He mumbled and his grip on me seemed to tighten, "I promised your brother I wouldn't let anything happen to you" My smile faded and I looked at the floor, God I missed him so much. I pulled away from Tommy and sat on my bed, opening the drawer next to me and pulling out a cigarette, lighting it and inhaling the smoke. Tommy grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders and I passed the cigarette to him, he took a few pulls before passing it back, it reminded me of when we were teenagers. He laid back on the bed, and I laid next to him, his arm under my neck and holding me to him as we stared at the ceiling and passed the cigarette. Koda sat at our feet finally feeling at home, he missed Tommy in here too.  "I really meant it" I turned to look at him "when I said I loved you I mean" he smiled his crooked smile and held my gaze, he was different around me, not so angry not so hard. He was Tommy, he didn't say it back but he pulled me closer and I knew that was his way of expressing it. I brought my lips up to his and kissed him quickly, pulling away and returning to my cigarette.

Suddenly, the whole room went black, and we could hear the fierce wind outside my window. The power was out, and probably would be for the remainder of the storm. Tommy sat up Immediately. Jade and Brendan ran into my room, closing the door behind them. I quickly grabbed the candles on my bedside table and lit them with my lighter, handing one to Jade and telling her to find all the candles she could. Brendan sat with us in my room as we searched my room for more candles.