Now You're Gone

Chapter 1- Falling Over

Train wrecks are bad. Car wrecks are bad. Plane wrecks are bad. Everybody acknowledges them, everybody knows about them, that is what makes them so bad. People over react about the small things. They can't overreact if they don't know though. You know what they say, "What they don't

know won't hurt them."

Nobody knows when a life falls apart. Nobody knows when this happy girl's heart just shatters into pieces. Nobody knows when the meaning of life has crumbled into tiny pieces in the atmosphere. That's why nobody cares, because nobody actually knows. When people gain the strength to actually come out and tell somebody, "I"m not happy with life." People mistake it for a phase, they tell you to be stronger, it will be okay, and, my least favorite, "Atleast you don't have to go through my pain..." because when you hear those words, or something along those lines, it would be of your best interest to just turn off your ears or turn up your music and drown out the world, because that person is about to lead into a very long, very narcissistic, very fake story to make you feel like your problems are worthless, which then leads you to feel even shittier about even bringing the problem up.

Sometimes people send out silent cries for help because they can't choke out the words. They'll stop trying, stop caring, stop eating, stop going out, they just stop. They distance themselves from the world, the push everyone away, and that is the saddest part.

Then, you have the people like me, I plaster on a fake smile everyday to please the ones i love most. I give them what they want, because it would literally kill me inside if they were hurting. I'm not a genuinely happy person. Yeah, i have good days where I think that I didn't actually take that turn to fast and ruin everything, that it was all a terrible nightmare, and then i have those days where I wish I was just having a very vivid dream, and Mr. Sandman is punishing me for something. I know that's ridiculous, but a girl can dream, right?

My life fell apart somewhere around three years ago when I fell in love with the biggest mistake of my life, Tyler Mason. This boy was beautiful, sure he was kind of bland, brown eyes, brown hair, but nevertheless, he was beautiful. That's the only reason I even messaged him in the first place, I liked the way he looked. After talking to him, I realized he was not only cute, but sweet as well. My crush on him slowly inflated as our talks got longer and more frequent, until one day, I realized I could not get this boy off my mind. We talked everyday, and one day, I told him I liked him, he led me to believe that he liked me back for a while, until he told me he loved me. I thought I would have a heart attack, I mean, was he serious? No, he wasn't. He just wanted to make me feel better because my parents were going through a divorce. He told me he just wanted to make me happy, he actually said that, to my face. I was torn apart. That was the first time I cried in front of people, the first time I cried at school, the first time I cried over a boy.

My life basically tipped over like a lost Jenga game. I pulled the wrong block by falling in love with Tyler, and I lost the game.

But that was three years ago, people keep telling me to move on, its all in the past, and I try, I really do, then something throws my mind back to that and it is so aggravating because I don't want to think about that dick, but I do and that's that.

Speaking of three years ago, danmit my mind is back to him again.

C: Hey

T: Hey

C: What's up? :)

T: Nm, wby?

C: Same, just talking to you, hehe.

T: Oh, cool I guess.

C: Yeah, so wanna like ask questions and stuff?

T: Sure.

C: What is your  favorite color?

T: Black, wby?

C: Purple, do you even actually want to talk to me?

T: I dont care, honestly.

C: What does that even mean?

T: Idk, i gtg bye

Even his texts showed that he didn't like me, but I was too lovestruck to notice. I'm slowly waking up from this dream, and reality has hit me in the face... with a fish... because it stinks.