You're a Bottom, Harry

Butterflies

That night, Harry couldn't sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes he just saw Seamus. Seamus laughing. Seamus helping him in class. Seamus and Dean kissing....

Enough! he said to himself. You're straighter than a ruler! You're straighter than a line! You're straighter than McGonagall's mouth when she disapproves!

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking of Seamus. Not knowing what to do, he walked back to the common room, and found it blissfully empty.

"Hey! Harry! I've been waiting for ages," Sirius yawned. "That took you a while. Thinking about what I said?"

"No," Harry lied. He hadn't realized Sirius was there.

"Well, you didn't stick around long enough for lesson two!"

"I didn't want lesson two," Harry said, although he really needed to find a date to the Yule Ball and fast.

"Well, as your godfather, I'll tell you anyway. Lesson two: butterflies."

"What?" Harry was baffled. At least the first lesson, 'super gay', referred to love and dating. His mind immediately went back to thinking about Seamus's blue eyes and cute smirk and...

"Harry! Earth to Harry!" Sirius panted. "What I'm trying to say is that you have to get over your butterflies."

Harry tilted his head, confused. How does one get over butterflies? "I can conjure butterflies or ask Hermione to. I dunno how that would help."

"No! I mean butterflies in your stomach."

"You should've said," Harry sighed.

"Goodnight, for now," said Sirius, and as his head disappeared a few sparks flew out.