You're a Bottom, Harry

The Unknown

The unknown, as it turned out, was the Gryffindor common room. Dean was sitting by the fire, drawing a complicated diagram. He finished it, and handed it to Hermione, who looked over it and nodded every few seconds. She folded it and put it in her back pocket, and handed Dean two galleons.

Ron and Harry stared at them. They exchanged glances, shaking their heads. How could this be related to the Yule Ball? The dreaded event was growing closer by the minute and Hermione wanted a damn piece of art?

Parvati walked by and winked at Hermione, shoving the same diagram into her bag. Suddenly, Harry said, "Parvati, do you want to go to the Yule Ball with me?"

"What?" she asked.

Harry sucked in a breath. "Do you, er, want to go to the Yule Ball with me?"

"Alright," she said. "Padma can go with you, Ron."

Ron nodded. "Fine."

Parvati flounced away, and in the corner of his eye Harry could see Hermione giving Parvati three galleons.

"What's with those pictures that Dean's been handing out to half the school?" Ron inquired as he and Harry left the Gryffindor common room.

Harry struggled to keep up with Ron, whose legs had grown considerably since the start of the school year. "I dunno, mate."

Ron walked faster, checking to make sure the corridor was empty.

"I saw some names on them. Maybe it's a secret Santa sort of thing?" Harry said aloud.

"A secret what?"

"Never mind."

***

Later that night, Harry was sitting by the fire in the common room, reading a diagram he had found. His name was in the center, and other names were connected to it with lines of varying colors. He couldn't seem to understand any of it. How were any of these people connected to him? Harry didn't even know half of them.

"I see you've found a Benedictian Prediction Chart there, Harry," said Sirius.

Harry jumped, and dropped the diagram into the fire. "Shit! Sirius, what are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on you," he said simply.

"And what did I find? a Bendy Noodle What Chart?"

"A Benedictian Prediction Chart. Back in my fifth year of Hogwarts, there was a seventh year called Benedict Schuyler. Brilliant boy. He placed bets on who would ask out who each month, and drew some charts and other fancy things to help monetize the whole betting business." Sirius sighed.

"He sounds very lonely." Harry observed.

"Not at all. He was a genius. Who was drawing those?"

"Dean, but he-"

"Of course it was. His mum was a year above me. Benedict was her brother, and I'm assuming he passed on the tradition of Benedictian Predictions. They're only the funniest way to make money off of couples."

"Okay, Sirius. But what did you come here for?"

"To ask you how your day was."

"Really?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Really."