You're a Bottom, Harry

Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon

"Malfoy," Harry said to himself, testing it out. The word felt foul, evil. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't replicate what he felt when Seamus talked. No, Draco was not the one. Not the Chosen One, not the soulmate. Draco was irrelevant, annoying, and... hot.

Harry shook his head in frustration. Professor Flitwick carried on with his lesson, but Harry was lost in a losing battle against himself.

Malfoy isn't hot! Malfoy isn't hot!

Harry's head flicked up. He jotted down a few notes, then continued to think of every bad thing about Malfoy.

He's way too handsome to even be human, Harry thought. His smile is too cute to even be human. He's too great. His dad is a Death Eater.

And just like that, Harry snapped out of it. "His dad is a Death Eater!" Harry yelped, then covered his mouth, blushing.

The professor raised an eyebrow. "You all right there, Potter?" he inquired.

"Yes, sir," Harry mumbled.

"Maybe the tournament is getting to your head," Flitwick suggested. Harry nodded quickly, mentally thanking his teacher for covering up his mistake. If Rita Skeeter found out....

Suddenly, she was there. Red talons, green glasses, a smile stretching from ear to ear. "Darling! I've been meaning to interview you for a long time! You wouldn't mind if I borrowed him for a teensy second, professor?" She pouted. She barely gave poor Flitwick time to nod before she dragged Harry out, heels clicking.

"You shouldn't tickle a sleeping dragon," Rita purred. She didn't give him time to ask why
she was mentioning Hogwarts' motto, as she quickly shoved him into a broom cupboard to begin yet another interview.

Harry hated every minute of it.

When it was finally over, Harry couldn't even breathe a sigh of relief. He had to run back to Charms to retrieve his bag, then jog to Herbology. He was already fifteen minutes late.

By the end of the day, Harry had been yelled at so many times that he decided to just throw himself onto the bed, and the moment his body made contact with the soft, silky blankets he fell asleep.