Breakeven •Ashton Irwin•

Six

Dear Ashton,

I left the house for the first time in about a week today. I went to go visit Amber. I can't believe how much my older sister has changed, Amber has never really been one for family. when she left all those years ago nobody ever heard from her, Until now that is. when I got the email asking if I could go and visit I honestly didn't know what to expect.

My first thought was that she was really sick and dying. I had all these bad thoughts running through my mind on the train ride there but I've found out that shes finally met a man. A good guy he is. One that's gonna put her first. Oh and on top of that she's pregnant, so I'm going to be an Aunty to a kid I'll never see.

Ashton. the other night I was laying in bed, thinking about you. How badly I wanted to kiss you and rest my head listening to your heart beat again. I know you've never been much of a hugger or cuddly kind of person. but when we did lay down under the stars, I always managed to convince you to let me put my head on your chest.

You had taught me all the constellations in one night and to my surprise I still remember them all. I sit at my window and look out at the stars and pick the constellations.It gives me hope that maybe, one day, you will return and everything will be good again.

I found some quotes online the other day.there is this one really stood out to me 'I want to be your easiest hello and hardest goodbye.'

You were my easiest hello and hardest goodbye. but now I don't know, Im not sure how easy it will be to say hello to you again. I was wondering the other day what it would be like to have you here again. would things be the same as before you left? would we be a couple by now? Or would we hate each other?

I guess we will never know and I will just be left wondering and pondering all of these things. day in and day out. I can't help but think about you Ashton, everyday. I even dream about you most nights.

Your the first person on my mind every morning and the last person on my mind before I fall asleep.

I miss you like crazy Ashton

I love you, this isn't goodbye, this is until we speak again

Yours truly,
Nina

Written by Jodie

Edited by Jasmine

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