Breakeven •Ashton Irwin•

Nine

A,

I was watching the television with Sadie today when you and the boys came on. Sadie instantly let out a minute giggle and her ponytail wobbled when she saw your face. I tensed up. Instantly feeling very uncomfortable as you blurted out word after world. Lies after lies. It was watching you like this. So happy that I realised that you are probably much happier than me. You made an inspiring speech to all teens telling them to always love themselves and to embrace the best part of them. But oh Ash. What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? I'm lost Ashton and you're the only person who can guide me on my way. But you won't. You never will.

So I remain an aimless spirit wandering this black abyss known as life. Completely lost and disorientated.

It was about halfway through the Interview when you said it. I didn't know what to feel inside. I felt empty. You had recently moved to London and released your next single "heartbreak girl". And the interviewer. Being a cliche interviewer asked you one simple question

"So Ashton, who's your "heartbreak girl?"

You just let out a small sigh. The words you then replied in are ones I will never ever forget as long as I live.

"She's back home" you replied "we were very close but we haven't seen each other in a long time. I miss her"

The interviewer pulled a pouty face and coo'd "Awh Hun, what's her name"

You had teary eyes and you stared the camera dead in the Lenz

"N-..."

That was the point I switched the television off. I guess I'll never know who that lucky girl is. I don't want to. Even if my small, light inside me that is a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with myself, I don't want to know. It's too late.

The damage is done.

I say there like a stunned mullet. Unsure of what to do or say. Sadie just stared at me with wide hazel eyes.

What the heck is going on Ashton?

N x

Written by: Jasmine

Edited by: Jodie