Breakeven •Ashton Irwin•

Seven

Ash.

While I lay here in my bed I can't help but think of you. I'm wide awake and my mess of a mind just can't seem to shut down enough to sleep. It just won't. I see you by the water, toes buried in the sand. I am up by the beach house just watching as the sun set over the horizon ending another day.

I remember this specific moment because it was about two years ago, during my really long hair period. When it almost reached down to my bum. I remember stepping off the deck to go down to the waterside with you, when the wind picked up like a cyclone and blew it into my face. Depriving me of my vision.

I had stumbled and waddled along but eventually I made it to the ocean edge. As I approached a big gush of wind came. And I, In my long dress, went straight in.

I remember you standing up from the rock on which you sat on and laughing louder than I'd ever head you laugh before. I mean, why wouldn't you? Your clumsy best friend had just been blown into the ocean.

I would have laughed at me too, If I wasn't saturated from head to toe.

"Thanks for the help" was my only remark as I climbed out of the water. On my own, might I add, and onto the rocks beside you. The wind continued to blow profusely chilling me to my bones.

"You're such an idiot Nina!" You had giggled. "I can't believe you just..." Another fit of giggles "flew off in the wind into the water! How is that even possible?!" You were doubled over.

I remember telling you that it's not funny and to stop laughing. That I was cold. But secretly I was swooning over your laugh. I didn't want to get dry clothes, I wanted you to wrap my in your arms and keep me warm that way. All I wanted.

But Instead you walked with me up to the house to get clean and dry. I remember the song you made up while we were trekking up the steep, sandy slope.
"Her Name was Nina, she fell into the oceann ohhhhh she's such a duffer, hey!"

"Ashton that doesn't even rhyme" I rolled my eyes and giggled at your childish ways. I loved them though. I loved you.

I still do, thus the reason I cannot find sleep right now.
At least you're at peace now, Ashton. At least you're having no trouble sleeping. The thought is surprisingly comforting for me. This broken heart did not break evenly. No, but at least you got the bigger, better half.

I fücking miss you, Asshöle.

But you're never coming back.

Ever.

Why me?

Much love,

Nina.

Written by Jasmine.

Edited by Jodie.

I have a weird obsession with writing in italics. It's just so much fun! Lel