College Days

Ten. Renewed Hope

Cameron

I'm kind of tired and not feeling too good but I really need him right now. I miss Isaiah so much. Just hearing his voice and seeing his smile.. It makes me want to cry because he's everything to me and I told him I needed a break from him. That has to be one thing I regret right now. I haven't seen or heard from him in like a month. I decided to go see him. I sat on his car, knowing he'd be going to work out soon. I still remember his routine.

"What the... Cam?" He asked.

"Hey." I said as I stood up.

He was speechless, he just hugged me tight and kissed my hair. All I could do was cry. I missed him so much and this is all I really wanted. Once we could finally speak, we just laughed.

"I missed you so much." He said and rubbed my hand. "I'm so glad you still wear this."

"I'm always going to wear it. I'm really sorry for everything-"

"Don't. Don't be sorry. I realized not having you is something I don't want. I tried talking to other girls and it just felt wrong. I couldn't just let you go. So I'm sorry. I love you so much and I'm so sorry that I even thought about another girl. Please just end this break? Please?" He asked as tears fell down his face.

"Even though it hurts really bad to hear that.. It's my fault and I need you. I really need you." I said as I started to cry.

"I'm sorry. I love you so much and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He said as he started to cry too.

"This is like high school all over again." I told him through my cries.

"No it's not. I never let it get that far. I didn't have sex with any other girl. Just like kissing-"

"I feel like I can't.. Why did you let me go?" I asked as I cried.

"I didn't babe. I promise. She was nothing and it only lasted a week. The rest I just flirted and talked to. I'm so sorry." He said.

I just cried. How could he just.. I feel so stupid and hurt. He was with someone else. Kissing someone else as if I wasn't far away being sick and feeling depressed. If I didn't need him so fucking much I'd be fine.

"Babe?" He said and tried to get me to look at him but I kept looking away. "Babe please? At least say something. Please? I'm sorry. I love you Lilypoo."

"I drove here because I needed you and you tell me there's been a short replacement. I feel like shit, really sick and tired. I've been feeling like this all day but you're my everything and.. I don't even know. Did I really come back just for you to tell me there's someone else?"

"Babe she doesn't even talk to me anymore. It's just been me for almost a month or two. I appreciate that you came even though you don't feel good."

"Why are you such an asshole?! Why did you even agree? You let me go and I needed you to fucking hold on until I got my shit together Isaiah. Fuck you. Fuck her. Fuck everything."

"Babe she-"

"Isaiah you kissed her, probably touched her in ways I don't even want to think about and you called her yours. This shit hurts. Fuck you. I hate that you always pull me back Isaiah. I hate you. I hate you so much."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You don't mean that. I know you don't."

"Why do you do this to me? "

"I'm sorry babe. I love you so much."

I was forced to let him take me home because I felt too weak to drive. I knew Camilla would be calling me the next morning about my car still being there. I spent all morning with her, Laila and Mike. I miss them already and wished I would of just stayed with them.