Rebels At Heart

Chapter 10

Finn's POV

"Im sorry about that Finn".

"Sorry about what?"

I turned to face Keira, it made me sad just by looking at her lonely face. I used to be with the care-free, happy and out-going Keira, Im not prepared to see her like this.

We're staying late outside just like the others. The only difference is that we're sitting away from the group. Keira and I choose the very corner of the beach where we can talk privately.

"Sorry that you have to pretend as my boyfriend just to show him Im already moved on."

"It's okay, but the question is..are you? Earlier, I know you're not okay..and, you seemed you haven't move on just yet."

"I think so too.. actually when I saw him.. can't help myself but feel the love for him all over again.. all the pain and heartaches are back to hurt me as well.." she pause and wipe her tears .."Im sorry I just can't help it, I dont know..maybe all this time Im just pretending that Ive already moved on..but I guess Im really still fucked up..still so fucking up inlove with him. Im so stupid!!! Really...really stupid!!!".

She cried out loud. I dont know what to do or say. Dont have any idea how to console when someone is crying. I just keep tapping her back, maybe it will atleast help her calm.

"I thought everything is worth it. I thought all I've done were enough to forget loving him or just to forget all about him. I guess Im wrong.. Im wrong all along thinking I can move on from him. The fact is he's still here.." as she point at her heart "...he's still part of me and I can do nothing about it.. how am I suppose to move on Finn? Im fucked up!"

I want to symphatize for her, but I know that is the least she needed  right now. Maybe she needed someone to reassure her that everything will be okay, yet I dont want to give her false hope. How can I be a friend to her? even a simple advice I can't even offer.

"Actually Keir, I dont know what to say. I don't know how to act as a friend specially with a situation like this. I don't usually give advices, Im the one who's given with. But I just want you to know Im here, just right here for you".

"Thank you Finn..thats more than enough".

When I see her smile, it just melt the doubt in myself as her friend. Maybe just maybe I can be a good friend too.

The silence took over and I guess it will help her gather her thoughts and compose herself. So I just let her and try not to say a word.

It takes more than 10 minutes when she speak up.

"He's here on this trip too Finn and Im afraid we'll be seeing each other as often. How life can be so cruel to me then? I don't deserve this right?", she's pouting her lips holding herself not to cry anymore.

"I know you don't..but how come he's here? you didn't mention he's taking up a business course too?"

"He's not.. his girlfriend does. He may be her significant others."

"Oww..how bad!!! Its really my fault. Its not that a good idea, inviting you here. Im so sorry Keir, I didn't know you will meet him here".

"Nothing to be sorry about Finn. Well, I guess thats life. I have to face it and deal with it..though how fucking it can get!"

"You will be okay, right?"

"I will, don't worry...but
Finn.."

I turned to her and asked.."Yeah?"

I can sense her hesitation as to what she is about to say...

"Ahmm..can I....I mean ahm...ask you a favor?"

With her pleading eyes and a serious look on her face, I just can't say no to that. But of course I want to know what favor she is asking for.

"What is it?", I asked her as Im waiting what she is asking me to do. I just know by then, Im more than willing to do the favor, whatever it is.. maybe this time I can prove to her Im a reliable friend too.

"Can you still pretend to be my boyfriend? Well, just as long as he's around atleast?"

Can I? Im asking myself..well, why not? Im not a good actor but I can try. For the sake of friendship, I will.

"Just this one Finn..and I will never ask any favor from you again. I will owe you this one.. If you want, I will repay you..with anything..well as long as I can..Well, even if I can't...I will try...Please??? Please????".

She keeps bubbling..and bubbling... Ahhgg GIRLS!! Thats what they always are...so very annoying..

But I cant help myself to laugh.. she keeps asking me which in fact I already agree to it. Well, thats as far as Im concern.. I just already agree to myself and not to her.. Again, I laugh so loud as she raise her eyebrow in confusion.

"Finn come on.. I really mean it. Take it seriously, please?"

I tried myself not to laugh, but I know the smile on my lips is still there.

"Okay!"

"Yehey...thank you...thank you..Finn.",as she is shouting happily..I just let her hugged me tightly and let me go after a while.

"No problem.. Im a friend so I will be acting like one..and thats by helping my heart broken friend how to move on. But of course..Im Finn Diel Furtoso and I will not be accepting just a simple thank you.. Payment should be more than just that".

"Hey! You're taking advantage of the situation."

"Im not!."

"You are!"

We keep arguing until we find ourselves to stop. We stop just to look at the girl who caught our attention.. She is laughing so out loud letting the waves run after her. She doesn't mind playing around the beach at this hour? Who on their sane mind will be doing just that?

When she caught us staring at her, she froze and she shyly give us an apologetic smile.

"Ahmmm I am really sorry about that.. I mean from disturbing you both".

Shock is an understatement when I recognized her.

"Jenna?"

She turned to me and force a smile.
"Oohh hey hot shot..nice seeing you here".

She just calmly said that to my surprise. Seriously?? all this time Im desperately looking for her and she will just tell me its nice seeing me here?

....."What do you want her to say? That she's also looking for you, that she's happy to finally seeing you again?", as my consciousness teased me.

Jenna is looking at me confused when I groan in frustration. Then, silence took over.

Its Keira who break the tension and speak up.

"So you are Jenna.. nice to finally meet you. Im Keira, Im Finn's-----"

"Girlfriend..." Jenna added. "..Nice meeting you too Keira. But I really have to go. Im cold right now and I badly needed to change my clothes. See you guys!"

Jenna hurried herself to walk out leaving us confuse. I am trying to recall what just happened. Why Jenna is acting indifferent towards me? We're just fine the last time we met. What happend now? And did Jenna just assume Keira is my girlfriend??

Ohhh no!!!