For Keeps

6. Luke

The moment I drive away, I want to go back. She's still standing there, mouth ajar, tears filling her eyes. I'm an asshole. The worst asshole alive. I almost kissed her. She almost kissed me. Then she spent the rest of the day avoiding me. My ego is wounded and I acted like a child. Now I'm driving home and I hate myself. What if she never talks to me again? What if she hates me? Should I text her? Should I go to her apartment? Fuck.
Maybe I'll just wait until tomorrow. I don't want to seem like a creep. I'll see her in about ten hours anyway.
I eat dinner with my mom and step dad. I listen to them talk about their days and mumble answers about mine before retreating to my room. I keep kicking myself over today. I write text after text to her but delete them.
"I'm an asshole."
"I'm lower than scum. "
"You're perfect."
"I'm falling for you."
"I want you so bad."
"Just be with me."
Fuck I'm bad at this.
Finally before I hop into the shower, I can't take it any longer and text her two words: "I'm sorry."
I realize she may not even text me back, but I have to say something.
I try to wash this day down the drain, but when I step out, I still feel horrible. I put on some boxer briefs and turn off my light. I get into bed and grab my phone.
A new message from Scarlett is waiting. I hastily open it and read it's short message. "Me, too."
Maybe she doesn't hate me. I send another text.
"Please don't hate me."
Three dots appear. She is writing me back.
"Never :) "
I clutch my phone to my chest thankful that she doesn't hate me. I'm not looking forward to waking up so early, but I can't wait to see her again. I fall asleep within minutes.

The sound of my alarm goes off too soon. I mumble curses at it and turn it off as I roll out of bed. I feel like a zombie getting ready. By 0440 I am in my truck wishing I had remote start because it's freezing. I drive to the hospital feeling like a popsicle.
I pull in to the parking lot and spot Dora so I park next to it. I brace for the bitter cold and head inside as fast as I can.
I clock in and head into the lab. Weekends aren't as busy so there are fewer people working. The surgery centers are closed so it seems less hectic. I hang up my jacket and grab my tray, a handheld, and a printer then load them on to a cart. There are five older ladies stocking up their trays when I come in. Sharron, is usually in charge. She started training me, Georgia, Roberta, Sandra, and Francine all greet me.
"Is it just the six of us today?" I ask knowing it's not.
"Scarlett is already up on Labor and Delivery and Paisley should be here soon. Stacey called out." Sharron says.
As if on cue, walks in a very tired looking Paisley. It looks as if she is still wearing last night's make up. Her hair is thrown up into a ponytail that looks like birds are nesting in, and I'm pretty sure her pants are on backwards.
"Busy night?" Georgia asks.
She just glares until seeing me and then panic covers her face
"Luke! I didn't know you were working today." She says trying to smooth her hair.
"Yeah. " I say as I check the board to see what floor I'm on. Surgical... with Paisley. Fuck. I grab my stuff.
"Ooh we are on surgical together." She says in a sing songy voice.
"Cool. I'll start on the end numbers and work my way down." I tell her as I walk out the door.
"See you soon." She calls after. I'm bummed. I was hoping I would be with Scarlett. At least there don't seem to be too many morning draws so hopefully I see her soon.

The morning starts out well enough. I get the first five people without a problem. Then I miss the next two. Paisley is already done with her side when I exit my second miss.
"Want to watch me to see where I get them?" She asks sweetly.
We enter the first room and it feels like we are in there fifteen minutes. She goes slow...too slow. Finally we exit the patients room as she is telling me how she had such a crazy night and I should have been there. We don't get five feet when Scarlett exits the room of my other miss.
"Hi." I say startled and instantly excited that she is right in front of me.
"Hey." She says simply. Her hair is up in a perfect bun. She has little makeup on and dark circles under her eyes. I wonder if she had a rough night and can't help but feel responsible if she did.
"Hi Scarlett. So maybe we should head to medical, Luke. See if they need help." Paisley says as she starts walking toward the elevator.
"Medical is done. Everywhere is covered. A couple stats on ICU, but they are line draws." Scarlett says while walking the other way.
"Cool. Coming Luke?" Paisley asks.
"Where are you going Scarlett? " I say ignoring Paisley.
"The stairs." I notice for the first time that she carries her stuff and doesn't put it on a cart like most everybody else. She disappears through a set of doors and I turn towards the elevator.
"It's too early for stairs." Paisley whines. "She's so odd."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because she is. She's too quiet for one. Plus she never gives any guys attention. There have been some cute nurses and paramedics that have had a thing for her, and she turns them all down. I mean it's not a lot of guys. She's decent looking I suppose but I don't see what the hype is about her." Paisley picks at a thread on her scrubs.
"I think she is nice and I don't find her odd." I say suddenly feeling  protective over Scarlett. Paisley goes on ignoring me.
"OMG. So Stacey would kill me if I told you this but- last night she couldn't stop talking about you." Awkward
"Really? I haven't seen her lately." I say silently hoping the elevator would hurry up.
"Well we should change that. Let's hang out tonight. Just the three of us." She says seductively as she licks her lips. She is probably used to that working like a charm, but I'm so far from being interested that I want to laugh.  However I don't want work to be awkward so I simply say, "Sorry I have plans already." The bell dings on the elevator and we step out.
"Oh come on. It will be fun. Cancel your plans." Until this moment, I wasn't sure anyone could be this annoying. We walk into the lab.
"I can't cancel. Sorry Paisley." I take my stuff to their needed places and look at the board. Scarlett rounds the corner and nudges me with her shoulder.
"Want to go to break? Or do you have plans with your bestie?" She whispers and nods towards Paisley.
"Ugh. Can we both go?" She smiles and walks to Sharron and says something then comes back to the board and writes break by both our names. She smiles at me and walks towards the sink to wash her hands. I follow suit and then we head towards the door. Paisley stops and looks at us.
"Sharron! I want to go to break." She says.
"Okay...after Georgia gets back."
"But I want to go now." She says looking panicked. Like Scarlett is whisking me away and she will never see me again. I walk out before I hear anything else but I pray she doesn't go now. I want to be with Scarlett alone.
"She has it bad for you." Scarlett says next to me.
"I can't shake her. She wanted me to hang out with her and Stacey tonight. I don't understand how she doesn't get that I don't like her."
"You're probably the only guy who hasn't fallen for their act. Now it's about they chase. You're a baby zebra and they are hungry  lionesses. Half the fun will be the chase." She teases and I mentally hope she's wrong.
"How do I get them to lay off?" I ask as we enter the cafeteria and grab trays.
"I have no idea... pretend to be gay." She whispers and winks at me.
"Maybe I should tell them I'm interested in someone else..." I say and look into her brown eyes. She blushes.
"I'm not sure they care." She says and breaks our eye contact. She walks over to where they are serving breakfast and asks for eggs and 2 pieces of bacon. I do the same except I also get hash browns. We walk to an empty table that seats two and sit across from one another. We both start eating in silence. I still feel bad about my attitude yesterday and I want her to know how sorry I am.
"I'm sorry about yesterday." I say in between bites.
"It's okay." She says looking down.
"It's not okay. You don't ever deserve that kind of crap. I was just irritated.... I-" I run a hand through my hair gathering the courage to tell her how I feel.
"I like you. A lot. You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You're funny and smart, and all I can think about. I just- fuck- I wanted to kiss you and I felt like maybe I fucked up trying to kiss you. Like it was too soon. Or maybe that you don't see me the way I see you. And for a minute it really sucked. I suck because I made you feel bad." I catch my breath and dare a look at her. Her eyes are wide, her cheeks are red, she is breathing deeper than usual. She bites her lip and looks down.
"I do like you. A lot. I think about you all the time. And I want to kiss you, too." She barely whispers.
"But I'm also scared. It's been so long since I- I have had feelings like this." She straightens up and looks me in the eyes. "I don't want to get hurt again."
"I would never hurt you." I say grabbing her hands. She looks around the mostly empty cafeteria and then at our hands.
"I don't want work to be weird..." she laughs.
"This job is... expendable. I would give it up in a heartbeat for you." She smiles but it quickly fades.
"I'm- well- I am damaged goods. As sweet as you are, I'm not worth it. My life is complicated and I'm a mess." She says looking down as a single tear rolls down her right cheek. I quickly brush it off and put my hand lightly on her chin and push it up so she is looking at me.
"I don't know what happened in your past, I don't know who hurt you, but I promise I won't. You say you're damaged goods, but I want you how you are. We can face shit together as a team." I don't take my eyes off her.
"Okay." She whispers. "But can we take things slow... it's been a while." She smiles.
"As slow as you need. I would wait forever if that's what it takes. Now eat your bacon woman."
"Sheesh you're pushy already." She laughs. We eat our breakfast and about five minutes until break is over Paisley comes in and sits at the table next to us with a coffee.
"How can you guys eat breakfast. It's too early." She says eyeing our empty plates.
"Well it is the most important meal of the day." I tell her.
"Gross. Luke maybe we can eat lunch together." She says batting her eyes at me.
"Depends on what Sharron says, but I was actually hoping to go again with Scarlett... since I'm trying to talk her into being my girlfriend." I say and smile at Scarlett who looks embarrassed. I know she doesn't like her personal life aired out for everyone, but I want everyone to know she is who I want. Expecially Paisley and Stacey. Paisley looks mad. She looks at Scarlett then back to me.
"Oh. Too bad Scarlett doesn't date. Right Scarlett?"
"Who said I don't date?" Scarlett asks.
"Oh come on Jay and Brad both tried to hook up with you and you turned them both down. Multiple times."
"I don't 'hook up'. It's not my thing."
"Oh come on quit the good girl act."
"Good girl act?" Scarlett frowns.
"You act like you're some Saint. Everyone knows it's an act." Paisley laughs then takes a drink of her coffee.
"I honestly don't care what people say or think. Just because I don't tell people every detail of my life and just because I don't screw every guy who looks my way, doesn't make me fake... besides..." she says standing. "Lucas wants me how I am. So say what you want, Paisley. I'm perfectly fine with my life." We both walk out of the cafeteria laughing at Paisley's dumbfounded expression.
We get back to the lab and spend the next couple hours talking. It's slow and everyone is off reading magazines or talking in groups. Paisley is mostly on her phone but she keeps giving Scarlett death stares. Finally 1330 rolls around and everyone leaves for the day. Scarlett and I walk to out cars together. I want to hold her hand but I don't. Slow. We need to go slow. We reach the cars and I pull out my phone and see I have a voice mail.
"Voice mail." I say as I put the phone up to my ear. It's the manager of the apartments that Scarlett, Brett, and Kare live. They have an opening and my application was approved. I can go sign my lease and get the keys Monday.
I hang up with a huge smile on my face.
"Important call?" She asks as her breath comes out in white puffs.
"Well how do you feel about me... being your neighbor?" I say. She smiles.
"Well we can always carpool to work." She laughs. "And I guess if I need any jars open you could come to my rescue." She says and I laugh.
"I can start moving in Monday. If you're not busy, maybe you can help organize?"
"I'm in. And I'm sure Brett and Kare are, too. Maybe we could make a night of it."
"Sounds like a plan. I'm excited."
"Me too." She says and shivers.
"Oh I'm keeping you. Well I will talk to you later...? Or maybe we-I-..."
"Want to watch a movie with Karianne, Brett, and me? Maybe we could all have dinner?" She says interrupting my awkwardness.
"I would like that. As long as you don't think they would mind."
"Of course not. They mentioned it yesterday anyway. I will text you our apartment numbers and want to come over about six ?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"Okay... see you tonight." She looks at me and her eyes drift towards my lips briefly. I want her to know I can take things slow so I smile and lean in. I hug her close and I give her a kiss on the top on her head. Her hair smells like citrus and the close proximity of her makes me feel intoxicated. She wraps her arms around me back and I don't ever want to let her go. All too soon though I release her and take a step back.
"Until tonight, Scarlett."
"You will actually see me out of my scrubs for once. That's pretty exciting." She laughs and she starts walking to her car.
"Yeah I guess we have never seen each other in street clothes before." I say and open my door.
"I have." She says and smiles. I look at her confused momentarily, until realization hits. She remembers me. From the day I saw her. I didn't think she remembered. I mean, she sees so many people a day and now almost two months later I find out she remembered me. I snap back to reality and realize I must look insane with my mouth hanging open. She laughs. "Surprised? I would hope you remembered me. I mean that must be the reason you started working here." She winks and hops into her car.
I get into my truck and can't help but laugh. Oh Scarlett, you don't know how right you are.