For Keeps

30. Luke

With her, life makes more sense. The world is more beautiful.
I can't get enough of her, and not just sex, although that is beyond amazing. I love watching how her eye brows furrow together when she is consentrating on video games. I love the way she tilts her head back when she is laughing hard or when she laughs too hard and snorts. I love how her eyes light up when she speaks about something she is passionate about. Or how animated she gets when she is telling a story.
She is the greatest thing to happen to me.
Here, in cold ass, small town Montana, I feel complete.

Ever since the last night we fought about Mandy, things have been amazing. I changed my number, blocked her on facebook, and couldn't be happier. The past is the past and that's exactly where it belongs.

Scarlett and I spend a lot of time with Brett, Karianne, and Hope. We all have dinner together at least three times a week. We feel more like a family than friends which reminds me of my Army brothers. I miss them every single day, but I have been trying to heal. I don't dwell on me being alive as much these days. I am living my life and I know that is what they would all want.

Life couldn't be any better.

"You're going to marry her, you know." Brett says as I eye the engagement rings too long.
"I think that's a little too soon to think about." I laugh.
Brett and I are currently looking for "just because" jewelry for the girls, but my eyes keep looking at the rings.
"It's not too soon if you know she is the one." He says and shrugs. 'Which you do."
That is true. I know in my heart that Scarlett is the woman I am going to spend my life with, but it's only been a few months.
"I would scare her away if I gave her one."
"I doubt that. She loves you."
"I know." I smile. "What are you getting Karianne?"
"I have no idea. Maybe a necklace. Or earrings?"
"Maybe matching set?"
"Good idea." He moves to look at some sets and my eyes catch a cross necklace. A cross made of diamonds with a white gold chain. Simple, but beautiful. I can see Scarlett wearing it.
That was easy.
After another hour of Brett debating back and fourth between two different sets, he decides on a purple butterfly necklace with matching earrings.
"She is going to love it." I say to my friend.
"I hope so. Purple is her favorite color and I know she loves butterflies." He shrugs. "Want to grab a gyro before we leave?"
"Sounds good."
We round the corner to the food court and Brett stops dead in his tracks and the blood drains from his face.
"Brett?" I say as I scan the crowd. It's a Saturday and the place is packed, but my eyes drift to a woman sitting at a table with two guys. Her dark blonde hair is in a ponytail, her frame is small which makes her obvious pregnant belly stick out. She is laughing and rubbing her belly when her eyes catch Brett's.
She pales as tears fill her dark eyes and her hand covers her mouth as a sob comes out.
The guys she is with turn toward us and look back at her confused. She whispers to the one closest to her and stands.
"Fuck." Brett breathes and turns.
"Brett." She calls out in almost a whimper.
I follow behind as she reaches for his arm.
"Please stop." She sobs.
"I can't, Rachel. I can't talk to you."
"Please. Please give me five minutes." She begs.
He stops and I stay a few feet away.
"Don't go." He says to me. "Luke, why don't you meet my ex wife, Rachel." He says sitting on a bench and running his hands through his hair.
"Hi, Luke." She smiles.
"Hi." I manage to get out.
She sits next to Brett. " I'm clean. I have been for a year."
"What do you want me to say? Congrats?"
"I just wanted you to know."  She fidgets with a wedding band. "How is she?" She whispers.
"You don't get to ask that. You abandoned us and have created a new family without a second thought!"
"I think about her every day, Brett. It kills me how weak I was. I wasn't sure how to approach you."
He sits and breathes short breaths.
"I want to see her. Not now, but sometime. When you're ready."
"I don't know if that's a good idea."
"I'm still her-"
"No. You don't get to throw that in my face."
"Please. Think about it." Rachel pleads.
"We will see. I have to talk to Karianne."
"Your fiancée?" She smiles a small smile.
He looks at her confused. "How did you-"
"Facebook. I check on you from time to time." She blushes.
"Oh." He says.
"I'm married. His name is Seth. He is a really nice guy."
"Okay..."
"I just didn't want you or Karianne to think I wanted anything. Like that."
"Okay good."
"I'm sorry I caused you so much pain." She wipes a tear away.
"I appreciate your apology." He says simply.
She takes a pen and post it from her bag and scribbles on it.
"Here is my number. Maybe we can sit down and have a coffee. You, Karianne, Seth, and me?"
"Yeah I'll talk to Karianne."
Her eyes fill with hope and she nods.
"Thank you for allowing me some of your time." She says as she stands.
He stands, too and she gives him a quick hug and then saunters back to her husband.
He sits back down and I take the seat where Rachel just sat.
"Are you okay?"
"I haven't seen her is almost three years." He shakes his head. "I don't know how I feel. I'm worried that K will be heart broken. I'm not sure if I should let Rachel see Hope."
"You'll figure it out. I'm sure Karianne will be fine. She is tough." I say and pat his shoulder.
"Mind if we grab something else. I'm not sure I want to go back that way." He smiles.
"No problem." I say as we head toward the doors.
We decide to go to Cafe Rio where Brett barely eats. I can't imagine what my friend is going through. We are quiet as we drive back to the apartments.
"If you need anything... I'm here." I say.
"Thanks. I appreciate it." He gives me a small smile before going into the apartment.
I say a quick prayer for my two best friends as I unlock my apartment door.

Scarlett was going to spend some time at the gym this afternoon so she still must be there.
I laugh to myself as I think about her this morning as she was getting dressed.
"Fuck! I'm getting fat! Why didn't you tell me I'm getting fat?" She says trying to button her jeans.
"You're not fat!" I laugh. " You're perfect."
"I can't button my jeans." Her bottom lip jets out.
"Scarlett, you look beautiful."
"I need to hit the gym. Like now! You and your sexy manliness are distracting me! I used to work out every day! Now I'm too consumed having you inside me." She throws up her arms and I burst into laughter.
"It's not funny." She scowls.
"We burn lots of calories doing that." I wrap my arms around her.
"Not enough!" She kisses my shoulder.
"We can burn some now..." I whisper in her ear.
"Oh no!" She pushes off me. "You have man time with Brett and I am going to the gym."
"But-..."
"Nope! Take a cold shower!" She yells over her shoulder.

I laugh again thinking about it and pull out my phone to text her.

I miss you. Are you done yet?

Yes. Getting in car now. XOXO

I wait for her to get home and we take a hot shower together. I finish what I started this morning, then we dry off and cuddle in bed.

I fill her in about the Brett Rachel run in.

"Poor Brett." She frowns.
"Yeah I feel bad for him."
"And Karianne." She sighs.
"Yeah."
"Well we are here when they need to talk." She smiles.
"Always." I kiss her nose.
"What should we do tonight? Do not say eat out!"
"Oh babe... I plan on eating out." I say as I kiss down her body.
"That." She breathes. " I'm okay with."
Her body tenses as my tongue flicks over her clit.
I continue my assault until she moans my name and her legs shake.
"I can never get enough of you." I say.
"Me either." She says as I slide back up next to her.
"Do you think we will always be like this?" She asks.
"Yes." I take a deep breath. "I love you."
She smiles big. "I love you."
"I can see us growing old together. Is that crazy?"
"No." She bites her lip. "I see it, too."
I reach over to my bedside table and pull out the box.
"I got this for you." I hand it to her.
"What for?"
"Because I love you." I smile.
She opens it and gasps. "Luke. It's beautiful! Thank you!" She leans over and kisses me. "Will you put it on me?"
"Of course." I put the necklace on her and can't take my eyes off her. The necklace is the only thing she has on and I suck in a deep breath.
"You're so beautiful." I whisper.
She leans towards me and kisses my lips lightly.

The next hour is spent wrapped up in each other; forgetting everything.
As she lies in bed next to me that night, peacefully sleeping, an overwhelming feeling comes over me. As much as I try to push it away I can't help but feel that something will happen. That this woman I am madly in love with, the woman I can see growing old with, is too good to be true.
This overly anxious feeling creeping over me makes me feel like I am bound to lose her.