L O L I T A ' S National Anthem (COMPLETED ✔️)

O P U L E N C E // 14

I became angry when my mother died
It actually hurt and destroyed me a little to know a woman can be so cruel and nasty
To leave a young helpless boy trying to figure out where he was in the world
Internal misogyny lodged itself into the cracks in my heart
I hated women
I hated the fact that they could destroy a man with love and affection
I told myself I wasn't going to get hurt
That I'm not going to love
That I'll not receive affection
Sometimes I blame my own mother for my cold personality
Sometimes I blame myself
Either way I became comfortable fucking around and being on my own
Then I saw her at the party
That dairy milk chocolate skin glimmering beneath the chandelier lights
That sweet charming white smile that makes me melt
The way she swayed her hips with elegance and gracefulness
I knew I was fucked then
I knew I was fucked when I was walking through Sloan Square and passed Tiffany's
I hesitated and saw the glittering diamonds
I knew I was fucked when I became jealous of other guys talking to her
I knew I was fucked when she kissed me for the first time beneath the London eye
I knew I was fucked when that kiss shattered my confidence and arrogance
I knew I was fucked when the first we made love, excitement and anticipation was writhing through my body
My heart had been broken by my mother
She was repairing it with love and affection