Downside Up

Chapter Eight (Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's)

It was a few days later when, I realised, that something was wrong with me. Normally I would spend most of my time planning, filming and editing my new videos and if not, then I was probably texting my friends or hanging out with them.

But right now I grew more and more introverted and caught myself o so often lost in my thoughts and dreams. It seemed like my usual self was gone and got replaced by a quiet bird, that had no desire to go out and have fun.

And to be honest, I had no idea why that was.

Or at least no valid suspicion.

I knew that this whole thing started when Oli arrived and moved in with us. She was weird person – sometimes super quiet and then again she would tell jokes and stories and couldn't shut up about the smallest things. Maybe I just wasn't used to girls.

Due to YouTube I had started homeschooling about two years ago and afterwards I didn't talk to many girls except Sage and my mum. Sometimes my friends had their girlfriends over when I visited their houses, but most of the time we'd have "boys only" get together and would spend the whole time playing video games.

I was hoping to find my soul mate ever since I discovered the mystery of love but until now I hadn't had too many irl crushes and my last one was older than a year. Maybe I was crushing on her and that's the reason why I felt weird.

But it couldn't be. I didn't really like her that much, we never talked properly, just a few bits and bobs here and there and it felt like she was a complete stranger to me.

Falling in love with a stranger does not only sound like a fairy tell – it is one. Because then you most likely fall in love with the way the person looks (and Oli really wasn't that appealing) or acts and not with her personality.

Instead of worrying any more I tried to focus on my video. It was filmed and I was almost done editing it, but then again I was staring at my wall.

I wasn't sure if this was a whole new level of procrastinating or if I just wasn't able to focus on anything right now.

After nothing else seemed to work, I forced myself to look back at my screens and promised my mind, that it could stare at the wall for three hours straight if it would let me finish editing my video beforehand.

When I was finally done I decided to get up and went over to Troye's room, hoping that he could help me. He didn't answer my knock on his door so I slightly pushed it open only to find him skyping with his best friend from overseas. Lately, he didn't seem to do anything else and even when we were having dinner together, he would rush off because of the "dates" he set with his friends.

It was annoying, but, on the other hand, I knew how much these guys meant to him – he dropped out of school years ahead of me and they were his closest friends besides a few people here in Perth.

Instead, I went up to Sage's room only to find a note on her desk that she was off to the mall to meet up with her boyfriend. I grunted, because what for do I have three siblings if I'm left alone when I need their help? I clearly didn't want to talk about with my parents.

On my way back down I passed Oli's door to find it open. She was sitting on her desk, her back facing me and hummed a song I didn't know. Her head nodded along with the rhythm and she was writing something down in a black notebook.

For a moment, I considered talking to her because maybe a simple chat would solve my problem, but then I decided against it. There was nothing I could talk about and no reason for me to approach her, so she would think I'm a complete weirdo.

When I was back in my room I quickly picked up my phone to call a friend. All I needed was a distraction and I hoped to be able to hang out with my friends sometime soon.