Downside Up

Chapter Twenty-Six (Thousand Eyes - Of Monsters And Men)

With every day the situation got worse and with every hour passing by I felt my heart break into pieced all over again.

It hurt when the other students were laughing at me and didn't even try to cover it up. They were making fun of me when I was sitting next to them and they didn't care at all. The few people, of whom I thought that they were my friends, had faded away over night and I was left alone.

If I would've said that it got worse I would've been lying, because it always stayed the same way. They laughed in the same way, every day, they talked about the same things every day, they made the same lame jokes every day and if it wouldn't have been about hurting me, it would've been boring.

They couldn't even make up some new puns. Everything repeated day after day and I could already talk along.

"Look who just joined us!"

"Isn't it a shame that she is staying for a whole year?"

"Yeah, it's not like anyone wants her to be here."

"Just look at her – isn't she like the ugliest person on the planet? Who would walk around like this? Her clothes are so old and worn out and her hair always looks greasy!"

"How is it possible that the Mellets haven't kicked her out yet? My parents surely would've acted a long time ago."

"Mine as well. I bet she is going to ask for some extra homework today! Who's in?"

"Come on, that bet is pointless. We all know that she is going to do that."

"Okay – I bet she got a straight A on the English paper we were assigned."

"Shut up – that's nothing new. I bet that you got an F!"

"How could you? I thought you were my friend!"

"Well, what a coincidence. Why don't you go and sit with Olivia then?"

"You guys are not doing that to me, are you? I mean like – look at her. If she would be a planet I'm sure she would be called Pluto. Because no one wants him to be a planet and he isn't one either."

"That's a good one – I guess you can stay."

"I will worship you for the rest of my life."

"Don't make any promises you can't keep. What if I tell you to go and talk to that freak?"

"You wouldn't!"

"Yeah, but I could."

It seemed like harmless fun to them, but it hurt me so much. To me, it almost felt like they were bullying me, but on the other hand, I knew that there were students that had it much worse. They were just making fun of me.

But still, I didn't like the way they were talking about me. Because everyone was talking about me in that way.

Every day when I left the school building I was grateful that I had survived. Every day I spent an insane amount of time on my homework, to make everything perfect. My grades were super high, the teachers liked me quite well and the students did the exact opposite.

There is a point where you break down after experiencing pain. Sometimes it's straight afterward. Sometimes it takes you a few hours or even days. Sometimes it takes you a whole month.

I knew that I had reached that point when I was walking down the street towards the Mellets' house and felt the sudden urge to turn on my heels and walk somewhere else. To a quiet place, where I would be safe. Where I would feel at ease.

Since I had come to Perth, a few months had passed and I knew the way to my destination only too well. It was long and worth it because all I needed was some distance to the crowds. I got a few strange looks from the drivers passing by in their cars, but I didn't care. Soon the roads were empty and I was the only traveler left, finally reaching my goal.