After 2

Chapter 104.

The drive to my childhood home is familiar and easy, despite the snow falling down. I force myself to let out every scream, literal scream, as in screaming as loud as I possibly can in my small car before I arrive in my hometown.  Screaming is much harder to do than I thought it would be, especially since I don't feel like screaming. I feel like crying and disappearing. I would give anything to rewind my life to my first day of college, I would have taken my mother's advice and changed rooms. My mother was worried about Steph being a bad influence, if only we had both known it was the rude curly haired boy that would be the problem. That he would take everything in me and spin it around, tearing it into tiny pieces and blowing on the pile instead of stitching the pieces back together.

I have only been two hours away this whole time but it feels like I have been much further. I haven't been home since I left, because of Harry. If I wouldn't have broken up with Noah I would have been back many times. I force myself to stop thinking about Noah before I lose it again. My eyes stay focused on the road as I pass Noah's house and pull into my mother's driveway.

When I get to the door I am not sure if I should knock or not, it feels strange to knock but I don't feel comfortable just walking inside either. How has so much changed since I left for college?

I decide to just walk inside and my mother is standing by the brown leather couch in full makeup, a dress and heels. Everything looks the same, clean and perfectly organized. The only difference is that is seems smaller, maybe because I stayed at Ken's house last night. The house is warm and the familiar smell of cinnamon fills my senses. My mother obsesses over wax burners and has one in every room. I take my shoes off at the door, knowing that my mother will not want snow on her polished hard wood floors. The house is small and not the most appealing from the outside but the inside is decorated nicely and she did her best to mask the chaos inside her marriage by adding paint and flowers.

'Would you like some coffee Theresa?" She asks before hugging me. I get my coffee addiction from my mother. 

"Yes please." I say through chattering teeth.

I follow her into the kitchen, unsure how to begin conversation.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" She asks and sits down at the small kitchen table.

I take a deep breath and a drink of my coffee before answering. "Harry and I broke up."

"Why?" She asks.

"Well, he didn't turn out to be who I thought he was." I say. I wrap my hands around the scolding cup of coffee in an attempt to distract myself from the pain and prepare myself for my mothers response.

"And who did you think he was?"

"Someone who loved me." I am not sure who I thought Harry was.

"And now you don't think he does?"

"No, I know he doesn't"

"What makes you so sure?" She asks cooly.

"Because I trusted him and he betrayed me, in a terrible way." I know I am leaving out the details but I feel the strange need to protect Harry from my mother's judgment. I scold myself for being so stupid, for even considering him when he clearly wouldn't do the same for me.

"Don't you think you should have thought about this before living with him?"

"Yes, I know. Go ahead and tell me how stupid I am, tell me that you told me so." I say.

"I did tell you, I warned you about guys like him. I have dated guys like him before, it never ends well. I am just glad it is over with before it really even began. People make mistakes Tessa, not usually mistakes this big but I am sure he will forgive you." She takes a drink from her mug, leaving a pink lipstick ring.