After 2

Chapter 188.

"You what?" The intensity in his voice is unsettling.

I wish I wouldn't have just admitted to kissing Zed but I had to. I had to tell Hardin, I couldn't keep it from him and I have to own up to my mistakes the same way Hardin has.

"I kissed him Hardin." I look up at him from the bed but he isn't looking at me. His eyes are focused on the books he pushed to the floor as he clenches his fists into balls at his sides.

"I.. you.. why?" He taps his fists against his forehead in frustration and my mind scrambles for an explanation.

"I thought you forgot about me.. that you didn't want me anymore and he was there and.."

"Stop saying that shit! Stop fucking saying he was there, I swear to god if I hear that one more fucking time!"

"Okay! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Hardin. I was so hurt and confused, he was saying all the things that I was so desperate for you to say and.."

"What was he saying?"

I don't want to repeat anything that Zed said, not to Hardin.

"Hardin.."

"Now." He demands.

"He was just saying what would have happened if he had won, if we had dated instead."

"And what was like?"

"What?"

"What was that like hearing that bullshit? Is that what you want? You want to be with him instead of me?" His anger is boiling and I can tell he's trying his hardest to keep the lid on it but the steam is pressing and pressing.

"No, that's not what I want." I stand to my feet and take a cautious step toward him.

"Don't. Don't come near me." His words pierce me and I stay in place.

"What else did you do with him? Did you fuck him? Suck his dick?"

I hope everyone is downstairs in the dining room still or they will hear every word Hardin is saying.

"Oh my god! No! You know I didn't. I don't know what I was thinking when I kissed him, I was just being stupid and I was at such a bad place with you abandoning me."

"Abandoning you? You're the one who fucking left me and now I find out you were flaunting around campus like a fucking whore!" He screams.

I want to cry but this isn't about me, it's about him and how hurt and angry he must be.

"I didn't mean it that way, don't call me names." I settle my hands against the back of the chair.

Hardin turns his back to me, leaving me alone in my guilt. I can't imagine how I would feel if he had done this during the worst time in my life. I hadn't thought about how he would feel when I did it though, I had only assumed he was doing the same.

I don't want to continue to push him, I know the way his temper gets too heated for him to control and he has been trying his best to do so.

"Do you want me to leave you alone for now?" I weakly ask.

"Yes."

I didn't want him to agree for me to leave him be but I do what he asks and head out of the bedroom, he doesn't turn around.

I'm unsure what to do with myself as I lean against the wall in the hallway. In a sick way I'd rather him be screaming at me, pinning me against the wall and demanding me to tell him why I did it instead of staring out of the window and asking me to leave the room.