After 2

Chapter 198.

"Tessa." Hardin's voice wakes me.

Without thinking, I sit straight up in bed and check the clock. It's only eight...it's Sunday. Why is he waking me up?

"What's wrong?" I ask, looking down at him.

"Nothing, I have to piss and you were latched on to me."

"Oh." I lay back down and he climbs out of bed.

I stare at the ceiling and go over my options. How should I tell him about Seattle? When I mentioned it last night he didn't take it seriously, he just told me I didn't need to make a decision now. The problem here is that I've already made a decision, one that has me moving in a little over a week. No matter how many times I play this over in my mind, I can't imagine how he will react. I know one thing, he won't be happy. Will he be angry? Sad? I just don't know.

"What time are we supposed to be meeting Steph and Tristan?" Hardin asks as he crawls back into bed with me.

"I don't know, I'll text her in a few hours."

"You still want to go? Because if not, that's fine too." He smiles.

"Yes, we're going." I bury my face in the crook of his neck.

"Last night was fun." He reminds me.

"Yeah." I say, hiding my face.

"You were.. demanding. Did you have a few shots of vodka that I wasn't aware of?" He chuckles and I playfully bite down on the skin of his neck.

"Someone's fiesty." His hands grip my hips and pulls me to lay on him, chest to chest.

"I need to shower." I inform him while he attempts to lift the t-shirt from my body.

"No, you're not leaving the bed yet. It's been far too long since you've been in it and you just started something that I'm going to need you to finish."

"Me? I have no idea what you are referring to." I smile and he lifts his pelvis to show me.

"Don't act all innocent now when last night you were in your knees sucking.." I clamp my hand over his mouth and feel his laughter against my palm.

"Enough." I laugh and try to loosen his grip on my hips.

"Nooo..."

"It's not like I'm going anywhere.." I nearly choke on my words. I am going somewhere, soon, and I hope you'll come with me.

I wiggle out of his grip before my mouth starts running without my mind's permission.  Hardin makes a playful pouty face and it's adorable enough to make me lean down to kiss his forehead before heading to the bathroom. I expect him to follow me into the bathroom but when I turn around in the hallway to look for him, he isn't there.

The water is hot against my skin and I pray that it washes away the anxiety of telling Hardin about Seattle.  He was so vulnerable last night, admitting that he was afraid of being expelled. I'm afraid for him, I wish I could fix this all for him, erase the impulsive mistake that caused him to get to this point.  I would do anything for him, even after everything he's put me through in the past six months since I've met him. It terrifies me to know just how much I would do for him,  the prospect of England keeps crawling its way to the top of my mind. If he blows up and refuses to go to Seattle with me would I really give up my ideal future for him? Yes, I would. However,  I can't. I would never forgive myself if something went wrong and I know that I would end up resenting him, blaming him for holding me back and that's the last thing I want. 

The shower curtain is pulled back and I scream, if my hand wouldn't have  come up to muffle the sound, the neighors would have heard.

"Jesus Tessa!" Hardin appears as startled as I am.