After 2

Chapter 190.

It's hot. Way too hot, when I begin to come into consciousness. Hardin is lying on top of me, nearly all his weight pinning me down to the mattress. I'm on my back and Hardin's on his front, his head is on my chest, one of his arms is wrapped around my waist and one is stretched across the space next to him. I've missed sleeping this way and even waking up sweating from Hardin's body blanketing mine. When I glance at the clock it's seven-twenty, my alarm will go off in ten minutes. I don't want to wake Hardin, he looks so serene, a soft smile even plays on his sleeping lips. He usually frowns, even in his sleep.

In an attempt to move him without waking him up I lift his arm from around my waist.

"Mhhmm.." He whines as his eyes flutter and his body stirs, gripping me tighter.

I stare at the ceiling and debate whether or not to just roll him off of me.

"What time is it?" He asks, his voice thick with sleep.

"Almost seven-thirty." I tell him quietly.

"Damn it. Can we play hookie today?"

"No, but you can." I smile and gently run my fingers over his hair, massaging his scalp softly.

"We could go to breakfast?" He turns his face to look at me.

"You drive a hard bargain but I can't." I really want to though.

He slides his body down slightly so his chin rests just under my chest.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask him.

"Yes, very. I haven't slept like that since.." He trails off.

"I'm glad you got some sleep." I say and mean it.

"Can I tell you something?" He doesn't seem quite awake yet, his eyes are glossy and his voice is raspier than ever.

"Of course." I go back to massaging his scalp.

"When I was in England, at my mum's I had a dream.. well nightmare."

Oh no. My heart sinks. I knew he went back to his nightmares but it still hurts me to hear about it.

"I'm sorry those dreams came back."

"No, they didn't just come back Tess. They were worse." I swear that I feel his body shiver but his face holds no emotion.

"Worse?"

How could they possibly be worse?

"It was you, they were... doing it to you." He says and ice replaces the warm blood in my veins.

"Oh." My voice is weak, pathetic.

"Yeah. It was..it was so fucked up. It was so much worse than before because I am used to the one's with my mum you know?"

I nod and bring my other hand to his bare arm to caress it like I am doing to his scalp.

"I didn't even try to sleep after that, I purposely stayed awake because I couldn't bare to see it again. The thought of someone hurting you drives me mad."

"I'm so sorry." His eyes are haunted and mine are full of tears.

"Don't pity me." He reaches up and captures the tears before they fall.

"I'm not. It makes me upset because I don't want you to be hurt, I don't pity you."

It's true, I don't pity him. I feel terrible for this broken man who has nightmares about his mother being violated and abused and the thought of my face replacing Anne's kills me. I don't want those thoughts tainting his already anguished mind.