I'll Fix Your Broken Heart (Lawson Fanfic)

Chapter Nine - I Love You

(Joel's Point of View)

The whole walk from my house to Joanne's I could feel my heart pounding and my stomach churning. I was so nervous. I was actually about to tell this girl I love her. Because it was true. I did love Joanne. Despite having not known her for long I couldn't deny how I felt. I loved this girl and she had to know. At least she did before she started to completely ignore me. I opened the garden gate and made my way up to her front door. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door a few times. At first there was no answer but after another minute or two I heard movement from inside. I listened as I heard someone fumble with keys and finally unlock the door. The door slowly swung open to reveal a teary eyed Joanne stood with a blanket wrapped around her. 

   "What do you want?" she asked, sniffing slightly. "I thought I told you not to bother speaking to me." 

   "You see I may have changed the way I was but one thing will always remain the same, I'm persistant. I never give up. And I never will give up when it comes to you. Can I please come in and explain?" I asked. She looked down at the ground before finally looking back at me and nodding. I watched as she stepped aside and let me walk through the front door. It shut softly behind me and I was led into the living room where I had been stood only a few months ago. 

   "You wanted to explain so explain." she said, wiping her face from the tear tracks that were still staining her cheeks. It hurt me to know I had made her cry. I never wanted to make her cry or hurt her. Ever. 

   "That girl you seen me with, we aren't together at all! She's a mate. She's the ex of a mate. In the nicest way possible I'd never want to be with her ever. There's someone else. That's why. Someone else who has not once left my mind. I think about her every second of every day since the day we met." I paused there, needing to stop for a breath. Unfortunately Joanne took that opportunity to cut in. 

  "If there's someone else then why are you here? Clearly I mean nothing. I was just some conquest. The girl who hated you. The one you had to get around just for a kiss to then throw her to the side and move on to the next girl. If you feel this way about this girl then why are you here? Talking to me when you should be off telling this girl how you feel." she said and I could see the tears start to collect in her eyes and soon enough they were spilling over, making new tracks down her gorgeous face. She sat down on the sofa, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders. I sighed and turned away from her. She wasn't making this any easier. Hard enough I was about to tell her I love her but she's jumping to conclusions. The wrong ones as well. I ran my hands through my hair and turned back to her. She hadn't stopped crying. It killed me seeing her in this state and I'm the reason why. I walked over and sat next to her. 

   "I'm here because the girl I'm talking about it sat in front of me. Crying her eyes out over me. Because I was a twat. You're on my mind every second of every day. Since that first day we met in the park. You've never left. Joanne, you're a permanent fixture in my mind. I'm always finding opportunities to bring you up in conversations with my mates. I can prove it too. They're just down the road in my house. Erin's a mate. You're the only girl for me. You may not feel the same way. Maybe not ever but if I don't say this I'll probably regret it for a long, long time. I love you Joanne." I watched as she took in everything I was saying. But when it came to me saying the L word her eyes widened slightly. 

   "You love me? You barely know me Joel! We've kissed once and all of a sudden its love?" she said. 

   "Yes. Because from what I've seen and know about you you are amazing, kind, gorgeous. Everything a guy could want in a girl. And maybe, if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to take you out on a date. Because then if that happens this could go somewhere and maybe you could end up feeling the same way about me." I said reaching up and wiping the tears from under her eyes. Our faces inched closed and closer until for the second time, our lips touched. 

(Joanne's Point of View)

One minute I'm curled up in bed crying my eyes out and the next I'm sat listening to Joel telling me he loves me. And now we've kissed for a second time. I pulled out of the kiss and just looked at him, not knowing what to say. 

   "You can't deny you feel that." Joel whispered. I nodded. 

   "I know I can't. But Joel seriously. You just said you love me. We hardly know each other." I said. 

   "Then tell me what you feel! Because what's the point in me saying all of that to have you say fuck all!" he said. I stood up and walked away from him, over to the window.

   "I don't know what I feel though! You've been on my mind constantly! You never leave. It's torture feeling like this about a guy who could easily revert back to how he was! Do you want to hear the truth Joel? I love you too okay! I've known you only a few months, two of which you completely disappeared. Yes I noticed because I missed you. I missed you pestering me all the time at college, in the street, I missed it. I missed you. So there, you now know how I feel. I love you Joel Peat!" I said, my voice rising as I spoke and tears falling down my face for what must have been the millionth time that day. He just looked at me and grinned. "I lo-" I was cut off by Joel standing up and kissing me again. His hands snaked down to my waist, firmly gripping me and pulling me against his chest. My arms went up around his shoulders. Out of our three kisses so far this was the longest and best one. The other two had been short and sweet but this one right now, after both of us revealing that we love each other, was long and perfect. I pulled away, slightly breathless. He smiled down at me and reached a hand up to push back some hair which had fallen over my face. 

   "Will you go out with me Joanne? Please?" he said so softly that I almost didn't hear him. He pulled his jumper sleeve over his hand and wiped away the tear tracks that were on my face. 

   "Yes I will go out with you Joel." I smiled. He pulled me in for a tight hug and I rested my head just below his shoulder seeing as I was so much smaller than he was. "I'm sorry." I whispered. 

   "What for?" he asked letting go of me. 

   "For not letting you explain before I ran off earlier. It's just with my history I kinda expected it to not last. Us. Well there technically was no us but still." I mumbled quietly. 

   "You don't have to apologise. I'm just glad you let me explain. I mean like you said with your history you could have just not bothered." he said with a small smile. I looked up at him and smiled back. "I won't be like your ex, I promise. I could never do anything to hurt you. Ever." 

   "I'll hold you to that Peat." I smirked, he just laughed and kissed my cheek. Finally, maybe I'll actually have a decent chance at being happy with a guy.