Tainted

Chapter Thirty-Three

"Naoma, do you remember when you told me that you could help me protect my thoughts?" I ask. Her response is delayed, and I look up at her expectantly.

She sighs and answers. "I don't think that it's possible." She says flatly. Her eyes connect with mine and then quickly dart away.

"Do you think it's because of the mind link?" Naoma shrugs, unconsciously rubbing her neck with the tips of her fingers.

"What have I done to us?" I whisper softly, too soft for Naoma or Nick to hear. I glance behind us and catch sight of Rue and River. They're glowing majestically, temporarily enchanting me with their beauty.

"Don't be too hard on yourself." Nick says to me. "Good people do terrible things. You're not the first. Don't treat yourself like you are."

I respond by losing eye-contact, ashamed to be a part of such a group. "But I'm not." I verbally separate myself from the group.

"What?"

"A good person." I respond to him without looking at him. I look back at Rue, whose glow is still gripping my heart, squeezing it. "They get to be beautiful. I just get to be toxic."

"Everybody feels that way at first. You've only learned that you have these powers a few months ago." Nick tries to cheer me up with logic. I look at Naoma for any type of reaction and there is none. Her eyes are directed away from us. "Don't worry. They'll forgive you." Nick soothes me.

I flash him a weak smile, appreciative for the sweetness of his lies. I know that some wounds won't heal, but also I know that I'll have to accept it somehow.

We spend more time in silence, a heavy silence that weighs on our shoulders as we stomp our way through the wild-life. It seems to be growing thicker by the moment, and my vision grows cloudy every so often. I can still feel the sense of anxiety in the back of my mind, but I find some comfort in knowing that it isn't self-inflicted this time. Outside sources are picking at my brain now.

"How far are we?" Naoma asks. A pounding is at the back of my skull now, and I close my eyes shut and open them again several times.

"Not far, I think-"

"Where are we even going?" Naoma snaps. Nick doesn't seem to be effected by her tone, or anything at all.

"We're looking for a river. Rumor has it, that's the portal for this land." Nick answers calmly. "Shit." He curses when he glances at me, his eyebrows pulled together.

"Red?" I ask, referring to my eyes.

"No." He says, frightened. "White."

"What?" I question, returning the frown. I look to Naoma for some type of explanation, but she has the same expression on her face.

"What the hell are you?" She asks in a whisper, one with ire lined in it and also some fear.

I attempt to respond. Useless. My voice seems to be taken from me, and I don't have an answer for her. I just glance at Nick, frightened, and continue to walk silently.

After learning of the mysterious symptom, I begin to grow paranoid. With every snap of a branch on the ground, I panic. And even though my fright is in my head and my jumps are only in my skin, I still sense that Nick and Naoma can tell that I'm on edge.