If Only Tears Could Move Mountains

Chapter Nine

Coach: What were you ladies thinking?
What was that?
Coach was pissed. Nobody answered.
She had been going on and on for 45 mins. Assistant coach didn't take his eyes off of me. He was pissed.
Assistant Coach: What were you ladies thinking? Ya'll didn't hear her? Answer the question?!
He was livid.
D: She crossed the line.
D was the captain of the team. She had a lot of heart and was never afraid of anything. She made it so easy to follow her lead and believe in whatever she said.
Coach: What's that supposed to mean?
D: We're a team... right?
Coach: What does that have to do with anything? Of course we're a team.
D: Okay, so teammates take care of one another. We protect one another. What's the problem?
When D got fed up, she was fed up. It was nothing you could say to her. She didn't care who it was, police, head coach, assistant coach, president, she didn't give a fuck once she got in her mode.
Coach: Don't try to talk in circles. I want an explanation for why my girls just got into a mother fucking fight with another team? And if my eyes didn't deceive me...ya'll were also fighting girls from this university! What is going on? I need an explanation and I need one now.
Coach hardly ever cursed. The room got so tense.
Alexis: Honestly coach I don't know what happened or why we were fighting but we're a team. You taught us to stick together.
Alexis was always the first one to start bitching. I loved her to death but I always wanted to smack her face.
Miller: We can't just let people say whatever they wanna say. That's not gonna happen.
BK: I'll fight everyday before that happens. I don't care who it is or where we are.
Yvette- No bullshit.
Coach: Look I respect the team unity and all but I'm asking for an explanation.
She taught us never to break. We didn't. She respected that. Shit, she didn't have a choice.
Me: Coach I'll tell you what happened.
D: It doesn't matter what happened Maori. It is what it is.
BK: Right.
Coach looked fed up. The team was trying to protect me but I couldn't let everybody take the fall for all my crap. I felt bad inside.
Me: Coach, one of the girls from that team has some connection to Cane Johnson.
Her eyes got big. She looked shocked.
Assistant Coach: I knew it had something to do with you.
Coach looked at assistant coach, she gave him this look that I can't explain. But he didn't say another word.
Coach: Maori, what happened?
Her tone changed.
Me: One of the girls...on the other team..
I started to choke on my tears. I couldn't hold them back anymore. I started crying. I kept trying to explain.
BK: Yooooooooo
BK's voice started to crack. She started crying. She slammed the door to her locker. She was heated. I kept trying to explain.
Me: She... said....that
I cried in between every word. D stood up. She was getting emotional. When she got mad she got emotional. BK too. All three of us cried when were mad.
D: Maori stop talking just be quiet. You don't gotta talk..
Her voice started to crack. D was older than me by two years. But in college, two years was more like ten. The wisdom the upper class-men had was unmeasurable. I just looked at her. But I kept crying. She put her head down in her lap and started balling. I was so ashamed...look at what I had caused. I was everybody's pride and joy, they all loved me. They all were hurt and angry for me. The room got hot. I looked around and Yvette was looking at me...she was crying silently.
Miller: Coach, are we dismissed?
Miller was strong. She was the voice of reason. She was emotional too but she was emotional unselfishly. Coach was smart. She knew when to let go and submit. She looked around at the room.
Assistant Coach: This is some bullshit.
Coach scanned the room. She looked at me and then shook her head.
Coach: Tomorrow morning ...7am.
Her voice was monotone. She walked out. I was still crying. Miller walked over to me and gave me a hug. D, BK, and Yvette were all crying, they got up and walked over to me. They hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. I felt alive for the first time in months so I cried loud, I didn't hold anything back. I started swinging and kicking stools. I started asking God, why! Everybody tried to contain me. I was out of breath and I fell to my knees. I was crying from my soul. The type of cry people experience when they loose their mother, or child. Only I didn't loose anybody...I had lost myself.
Me: I'm sorry ya'll...I'm so sorry
I will never forget that day in the locker room. Never.