If Only Tears Could Move Mountains

Chapter Five

Today I had built up enough energy and courage to eat in the cafe with my teammates. As soon as I walked in a bunch of girls that I was cordial with and knew about "the incident" started clapping once they saw me. I dropped my platter, turned around, and walked right out of the cafe. I know they meant well but wtf were they thinking? All the boys that he was associated with started staring at me. I was just caught off guard. The craziest part is that I was so social before everything happened. But I had been in hiding for a month. I guess people noticed the shift and wanted to celebrate that I was "coming back to life". As I'm walking out of the cafe I ran into Lee! I felt a sense of relief. He was headed to the soda machine. I looked at him and he gave me a head nod. I couldn't believe it!!!! I really couldn't believe it. I thought he was different but I guess they are all the same. Thank God it was the end of the semester. I was over everything and everybody. How could he walk past me and only offer a simple head nod? We had sat for hours talking and co-existing. I mean six hours, the first day we met! When I got to my room I thought about writing in my journal but I didn't. I just couldn't admit to all the things that were happening. Besides volleyball practice was  s half an hour away and I didn't feel like the bs that came with being late. I just sat on my bed. I thought about how Lee had tricked me. He really had me believing he was somebody he wasn't. Or maybe I'm just doing to much. I mean I just don't feel that a head nod is appropriate. Especially between a guy and a girl who could potentially like each other. I just don't understand. I headed to practice. Of course we were running a thousand suicides because that's all we ever did being as though we were in trouble for something before the day even started. We were always in trouble. It was starting to get old, routine, and aggravating. Like come the fuck on. I imagined the last day of the semester, packing all my clothes in the car, and driving off of this dreadful ass campus. I was starting to feel like coming to this school was the biggest goddamn mistake of my goddamn life.