Looking for her

chapter 6 : the daughter in law, the rain and the umbrella

This chapter is dedicated to Aalia, an amazing person mashaalah. She comments, votes and supports me in this story. Her lovely comments make me smile like crazy because how sweet they are. This chapter's for you love!

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It was raining cats and dogs, as if the past sunny week was a dream. A bad dream. The sky was dark grey, giving a gloomy atmosphere. Torrents of rain were falling down, hitting the windows and causing a deafening noise.

Little tears were spreading down my cheek but I didn’t want to cry after that, I didn’t want to explode after what happened. Allah’s with me and I keep trusting that Allah is with me and with Uncle Imad.

It has been a week now that he was in the hospital. He woke up al hamdulilah but the doctors wanted to keep an eye on him a little longer, so he stood in there. He had a heart attack said the doctors that meant he had an unstable heart. He normally took his medicines but obviously it was getting worse with years.

Even if doctors, Ali, Aunty Ruqaya kept telling me it wasn’t my fault, I still felt that guilt through my throat. It didn’t want to get out. It was by my fault that he fainted. If I had came a minute earlier, he could have taken his medicines and now be completely okay. But ifs don’t exist and the guilt never disappears.

What if he passed away? What if he died? I just didn’t want to imagine my life after that.

But al hamdulilah (thank god), he didn’t. So I thanked Allah in all my prayers after what just happened. I asked him forgiveness and a good health for Uncle Imad. All those daily prayers helped me pass through this and it was getting a lot better by the days.

I stood there, my forehead pressed against the window, looking at the rain drops running through it. I remembered a word I’ve read in an Islamic book :

Narrated Sahel Ibn Sa'ad (RA): that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: 'Two will not be rejected, Supplication when the Adhan (call of prayer) is being called, and at the time of the rain'

So I prayed hard after remembering it. I asked Allah forgiveness for me and for all. For the Muslims wherever they were, for the poor and the riches, for the parents and their children.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated, jarring me from my thoughts. I picked it up quickly.

“Assalam aleykum.” I said not knowing who it was, I always has the habit to never see the caller ID.

“Wa aleykum salam, Karen it’s me Ruqaya. I would like to talk to you, if you can come downstairs please.”

“Okay no problem, I’m coming. Is everything alright”

 “Yes al hamdulilah, everything is alright”

“Okay I’m coming Aunty” as I said it, I grabbed my long black abaya and a blue hijab from my drawer. I quickly went downstairs a bit worried about her. She wanted to talk to me now? after ichaa prayer?

I knocked and entered. She was sitting in an armchair, a paper on her hand that she quickly hid behind her back. She welcomed me and sat in front of her.

“Dear, I knew you weren’t asleep yet” she began.

“I couldn’t find sleep, not after what happened”

“I know. But you know it wasn’t your fault habibti” she said softly, stroking my hand gently “I wanted to tell you that we’ll go see Imad tomorrow and wondered if you can come with us”

I looked at her, I didn’t know how I’ll react after seeing him, I didn’t know how he’ll be, I didn’t want to see him in his hospital bed.