Diary of a Mindless GUY

Chapitre Six | Take Me As I Am..

C H A P T E R  S I X

“Cameron, now you’re just talking crazy. You’re fourteen-years-old, and you know darn well you can’t live on your own.” My mom took my hand and sat me down on the couch. Her face was in a serious shape, which was rare. She was so chill, her being serious was something I wasn’t exactly used to. “We’re going to talk about this, because there ain’t no use of havin’ a family that can’t talk to each other about things.” My mom’s southern twang made me smile a little bit. I slumped back in my seat, getting ready to argue against my father.

“So what’s the problem? I’ve been seeing a lot of heat between you two lately.”

“Well, you’re husbands a bigot, that’s the problem,” I said under my breath. My father looked at me, and if looks could kill, I would be long gone. My mom rolled her eyes. “You need to start being more nice about the things that fly out ya mouth.” My mom turned around to face my father.

“Your side?” 

“I’m not about to have a gay son, and that seems like the sure direction he’s headin’.” I rolled my eyes, hard. Even though I was going through the ‘confused’ stage, I wasn’t exactly sure if I wanted to be gay or not. If I was, my parents should accept me the same way.

“Henry, now you know you can’t  just come up with that kind of conclusion. Why don’t you try talking to him first before—”

“I already know he is! I heard him talking to that girl—Veveeyn.”

“Is this true, Cameron?” My mom asked, like I wouldn’t be in trouble if I was gay. I nodded my head and tried to come up with an witty excuse. “I only told her ‘cause she’s real easy to talk to. I was unsure of my feelings, so I had to talk Veveeyn. I knew damn well I couldn’t talk to dad about anything.”

“Aye, watch your mouth,” my mom scolded.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“It seems to me this is all about lack of communication. You never talk to your father about anything, so he just assumes all the time. I don’t agree that’s always the right thing to do, but what do you expect if you won’t even talk to him?” My father nodded his head like that was what he was trying to do all along. I rolled my eyes.

“How would I feel comfortable to talk to my dad if he’s constantly screaming and hollering at me for being his little ‘fuck up’?”

“Cameron, I’mma tell you one time only to watch your mouth lil’ boy!” My mom scolded once more. I muttered ‘sorry’ again.

“Cameron, you know I love you. It’s just that I have certain morals.”

“It would be nice if you’d show that. And what morals? Dad, it’s two-thousand-thirteen. No one follows the ‘no gays’ rule anymore, except bigots and old fashioned people. You need to move on and stop livin’ in the past already,” after forever, it felt nice to vent all out of my feelings towards my dad. They’d been bundled in my chest for so long, I didn’t know how to express them. Now I’d been given my chance.

My dad sighed and stayed silent. I guess proving him wrong kept his lips zipped.

“See, now you’ve had the chance to express your feelings. How does that feel?” My mom sounded like a bad counselor. She was college professor, not a psychologist. I put one thumb up and dragged myself in the room. I was still confused whether I was grounded or not.

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Since last Friday was the last day of school, I had no longer had to deal with bullies or bigots. I could stay home, relax, and invite Veveeyn over. It was like heaven on earth. I got up before everyone else did, so I decided to put Mindless Behavior’s first CD into my stereo as I logged into my Twitter. I was pretty popular in TM, since I was a boy. No one cared that I liked them, and it felt like the only place I felt fully accepted.

I decided to make a new tweet. Parents these days. ._> The struggle. I pressed send and admired how many followers I had. I almost had as many followers as Mindless Behavior, which was a record.

Since I only had one thing to tweet, I logged off. Today was the first time in over a year I could just relax and do me. I didn’t have to deal with bullies constantly in my face, and I could just fantasize about Mindless Behavior all day.