C H A P T E R S E V E N
“Knock-knock,” My mother says, opening the door. Why was it so hard for parents to at least wait for you to answer the door, first? “Hey mommy,” I replied, in a sing-song voice. It was Sunday—my favorite day of the week. Everything was happy on this day, whether my dad wanted it that way or not.
“Do you want to come downstairs and get some breakfast?” She asks, already opening the door wide open for me. I could smell the sweet aroma of cinnamon rolls and bacon—my favorite breakfast. “Duh!” I replied, racing her downstairs. The aroma got even stronger, basically forcing itself up my nose. I loved it. When I got down, I saw my dad at the table, drinking orange juice and chowing down bacon. I didn’t even bother the greet him.
But I guess he wouldn’t let me ignore him. Not today anyways.
“Why you ackin’ all shy and stuff?” My dad roughly asked. I ignored him. He played this game all the time; fight with me, act like it never happened, and repeat. I took a cinnamon roll off of the pan and put it on my paper plate. I tore off each piece and put it on my mouth, keeping my manners in check. My dad just shook his head and laughed at me, but I was going to disregard it. How was he trying to make amends with me if he’s always finding something wrong with me?
I gulped down my orange juice, until my mom came downstairs to eat breakfast. She had a drained look on her face, so I knew something was wrong.
“Cameron, I need you to talk about something...your father thought it’d be best for us to talk over breakfast.” I put my glass down, and wiped off my face with a nearby napkin. By the look on my mom’s face, she was being forced to do something she didn’t want to. I felt it.
“Me and your father have decided that’d it be best for you to go see a counselor to maybe snap you out of being gay.” I couldn’t believe my ears. How would someone ‘snap out of being gay’? It made no sense. My mom wouldn’t usually try to change me; she’s always accepted me for what person I was. Now she was trying to change me?
I was speechless.
I didn’t have any words to say to neither one of them. I had mixed emotions—sad and angry. I excused myself from the table, and went upstairs. “Your counseling starts today...” My mom called back upstairs. I just ignored her. I didn’t have anything else to say about her, about anything. Right now, I wish I could just listen to Mindless Behavior all the time. I turned on my new iHome and put my iPod in. I put it on shuffle, so it’d play anything at random.
The first song that played was “My Girl”. I sung along to the lyrics as I cleaned up around my room. “My girl, my girl she loves me..” I stopped in mid-sentence, and paused the radio. Should I even be singing this? I didn’t even like girls... or at least I don’t think so. I sat on my bed, and picked up my journal and read my old thoughts from last night. Usually, I would write how I was feeling the night before, so when I woke up, I could figure out my decision.
(Cameron’s Diary)
June 9th, 2013. Sunday.
I think I really am gay. According the Veveeyn, she kind of knew it was coming. I would have never thought I would be saying this, but I do find guys attractive. I actually liked one, but I kept it inside of my mind, and didn’t plan on letting it out. I already have rumors going around about me, and the last thing I needed was someone for to bully me some more.
Sometimes, I hate myself for being gay.
I mean, I don’t hate the fact that I like guys—I can’t control that. But I hate all the things that come along with it. Bullying, haters, and not even your “closest” family there for you. I wish there was something that could be there, to tell me it would be alright, just like those Wattpad books. That would be awesome right about now.
But now, all I have is this journal. Something that will never respond. I can only write on it to let out my feelings, but it’s really not the same thing. It doesn’t feel the same.
I used to be able to talk to my mom about anything, but instead, she’s turned over to my father’s side, which hurt more than anything else. My life was a mistake, it feels like most of the time. I can’t seem to find myself, or find someone like me. I feel like I have to change, to be someone my parents want me to be. The golden child. The model.
Or maybe they want me to be like my older sister, already in college. Straight as a pole. She had her share of boyfriends, and did “girl” things. She was 100% American girl. She wouldn’t even think about becoming a lesbian. But me? I was gay. I was bullied. I wasn’t the bubbly, popular, American teen. I was the antisocial gay teen. I only had one friend, and if I lost her, that’d be it.
No more late conversations, no saving seats at lunch. Nothing.
It seems like the only reason why I made this journal was to complain. That’s really all I can do in life. There wasn’t anything to be happy about, or jolly, or nothing of the positive attitude. I just want someone to be proud of me for once. To say, “Great job, Cameron!” or “Keep going.” Instead, I was constantly told to modify of my actions. Constantly being told to be anything but me.
It saddens me about how my world is. How screwed up everything is. How screwed up my sexuality. I thought I’d be the last person on Earth who’d be gay, but it is what it is.
I just have to learn how to accept my self.
I made my decision. I was gay.
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I'm already working on the sequel to this! Just so you know ;3
- LIVYTHECREATOR

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Diary of a Mindless GUY
Teen Fiction[one of my first stories. beware.] Cameron is in love with a popular boy-band, Mindless Behavior. It's all normal, right? The only thing that makes Cameron different that he's a guy, unlike Mindless Behavior's usual fans. When Cameron exposes his s...