A Web of Spider Bites

Chapter 12

Bell didn't sleep well that night; too many thoughts in her head. Did Ben really play her?  Bell knew as soon as Ben's soft hand went over her plump dry lips her life was changing again and not for the better. She didn't expect to come here to find a friend and to create a new life without all the bad drama from the hell hole she calls school. However she didn't expect to be played. She still doesn't know how it happened. 

Bell has had her walls up for what feels like forever but as soon as someone questions her, she cracks piece by piece. Maybe that's all she needed: questions. No one at school took notice of her when she pushed them all away, no one put up a fight for her, they let her drift away and then she was known as the freak. She was a freak because she wasn't the exact same as the others. She wasn't normal. But who is? Is anyone normal. 

Being normal means different things to different people and it can change through life. For Bell it started out with a loving family now normal is being alone and climbing out of windows. Normal used to be that one feeling, it used to be..... happy. 

But what is normal for Ben? Was it the same as Bell? Starting out with a loving family and then turning into a freak for being alone, is that normal for Ben? Is there a normal for anyone? Normal is just a way of life we get into, there isn't a normal for a group of people because everyone is different. It's something we cling to to make us feel less alone. But we all get alone sometimes, sometimes we stay alone and we learn, then, there is no normal. Some people learn there isn't a feeling called love, that's a choice that we cling to to make us feel less alone. Some people can find love and choose to keep it, but those people are the "normal people". In the eyes of society they are the normal ones and the freaks are the ones left alone and liking it. 

Staring straight ahead at the screaming stairs, the thoughts in Bell's head seem to have ran around for hours. How could she let herself be played? For the first time in months she feels something: her heart breaking. Its not a nice thing but its a feeling none the less. 

Why did it hurt her this much? Was it because she opened up about her past thinking she wouldn't care, but when push comes to shove she cares too much? Nothing has changed, she still cares about everything too much. She gets told off for not caring enough so when she does put the effort in she gets told to calm down because she is stressing too much. She's fighting a loosing battle. Just like the monster inside of her. She's trying to fight but what is the use? She's stuck in a cabin in the woods with no one too love her. 

***

Ben is sleeping upstairs in his jet black bed. It took him hours to finally fall into a careless state; did he mean all those things he said to Bell? Obviously the things about his Mother were true, she did just tell him to pack up and leave and for a reason Ben still doesn't know. The thought and memory never leave his mind and maybe that's what he's done to Bell: the exact same. Get her trust and then tell her she's not good enough. That's the equivalent; he can't tell her to leave, not not, not ever. Ben doesn't know the main reason for not letting her go, he wants it to be because he's already in too deep and by letting her go it means he will be caught. But he knows that isn't the main reason, but how he wishes. He still doesn't fully know the reason but it's something to do with feeling a pull to Bell: a connection.

Where was Ben's Dad then? It was clear to see that he wasn't around for Ben so where could he be? The truth: no one knows. Ben's Mum doesn't even know who he is. So there it is, compared to everything else its not a sob story; how can you miss something you never had? Sure when he was a kid he asked about his Dad but he got used to his Mother brushing it off. He got bored of getting rejected. Ben was from a broken home which was never whole.

Maybe Ben was getting feelings for Bell, maybe he liked her. He knows he shouldn't but he can't stop himself. The voice in his head was getting louder because it knows the new feelings which have popped up. 

Ben wakes up to a voice "Hurt her whilst she's not expecting it." 

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A/N 

Sorry it's so short, this is kind of a filler but the next chapter will be better. 

Thank you so much for all the votes, comments and messages! It's so nice to talk to people who like my work so I couldn't be more thankful! 

Stay strong <3