Satan's Little Helper

V I I I - [ D A E M O N ]

"SHE'S UNIQUE, I'll give you that." Bub says as soon as Feia closes the door.

I nod, agreeing. "I don't know what, but there's something about her that really captures my attention."

"Reasonable," Bub shrugs. "She's hot as shit."

"Not that way, Bub." I cross my arms in front of me. "And don't you fucking dare touch her."

"What if I, like, brush up against her as we walk through the hallway or some shit?"

Rolling my eyes, I say, "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't." Bub bats his eyelashes and gives me an innocent smile, dimples appearing on both sides of his cheek.

"You'd like to screw her, yes?"

"Nooo," Bub pouts, head slightly tilted. I scoff at him but say nothing, and not long later he starts throwing his head back in a laugh. "But seriously, though," he says as he flicks away a stray tear, "I don't want to screw her, not really—not anymore. Aside from the fact that you look like you're about to castrate me and throw me all the way down to the Pit of Souls, I also feel this sort of need to watch over her."

"Uh-huh. There's no need for that, really. I got it under control. Besides, if I don't have her under my watch, I've got Abigor to do it for me."

"Oh, you trust him more than me?" Bub exaggeratedly brings a hand to his chest, expression incredulous. "I cannot believe you, Lucifer! How can you not rely on your trusty fucking steed, your one and only bestie, Bub?"

"Bestie?" I give him a look of disgust. "What the hell? Did we agree to make fucking friendship bracelets and have sleepovers in our fucking backyards?"

"Yesss,"

"Dear Satan, Bub. You're ridiculous."

"Christie?"

Bub stares at me, eyes wide, and mouths, Who is that?

"Fucking. Hide." I reply, half-whispering and half-shouting.

I snap my fingers while Bub dives under the bed to hide. "Chrisbitch, that you?" The voice says again, this time closer to the room. About a second later, Feia's sister appears at the door wearing a crop top two sizes too small and shorts so short it might have been hers from a couple years back. Her makeup is completely overdone; she looks like a fucking prostitute. "Huh, weird." She says, and shrugs. "I thought her mad hot best friend was here. Oh, well." With that, she leaves with a flip of chocolate hair.

Once I'm sure that she's gone, I make a gesture with my hand and the door closes slowly. I sigh in relief, and bend down to look at Bub. "You can come out now, Bub."

Bub peeps cautiously from under the bed and looks around, then proceeds to crawling out awkwardly due to the very limited space.

"You know you could've gone invisible like me, right?"

Standing up and dusting himself off, Bub shrugs. "I panicked."

"And to think that you're a god of the Underworld."

Bub ignores my comment. "Who was that, though?"

"The sister."

He whistles in awe. "Man, hotness sure runs in this family. But shit, that one looks like a complete and utter bitch, don't you think she would work better as your right hand?"

"I already have Lilith to handle, I don't have more shits to give for another her."

"I wouldn't mind," Bub gives me his cheeky grin.