Love Will Be Our Last Emotion- Janxx

This Love Will Set You Free

Hiya guys, I hope this makes up for slacking before. it is kind of a filler chapter and I was trying to work it out. Please let me know how you want this story to go from here(: oh and now it doesnt allow me to use videos... Bye for now, my Batling Army:3

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Jake's P.O.V:

“Err, look, Jinxx.. there's something I need to ask you... Jinxx... are you... are you gay?” I ask, thinking about the last thing he has said before I fell asleep last night: 'But I love him...' A look of panic flashed across his face, as if he was having a battle within his mind.

“Erm... why are you asking?” his voice came out in a rasp as he struggled to control it.

“Well...err...” now it was my time to stutter as I suddenly remember my conversation with Ben earlier. No, do not mention that, Jake. “Well, last night, when you were falling asleep you said 'But I love him...' for no apparent reason, and that's fine, I just wanted to, err, know, I guess...” I trail off, feel as though I have just made him hate me for life. I have no right to ask him such a personal question, but I was just hoping that our closeness would help... apparently not. “Err...Jinxx, you don't have to say if you don't want to... I-I'm not forcing you to say anything you don't want to...” I stumble, immediately hating myself because now I have given him permission to avoid the question I so badly wanted an answer to. “I'm sorry...”

“No, why are you sorry? It's just...err...a bit of a weird question to ask.... Damn it, I knew I would have said something last night, I remembered as soon as I woke up...” he trailed off, more speaking to himself than me, but it was still loud enough for me to catch.

“so... it was true?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. He didn't respond, but the pained expression in his eyes told me that he wanted to reply but just wasn't sure how to, and maybe he was even afraid to; I know it's a difficult question to answer.

Pulling him into a tight hug, I stand upon tiptoes to hold him close as I whisper,

“I wouldn't care if you were, you know; I wouldn't think anything bad against you. You mean far too much to me to ever do that...” I could feel the tension and stress flow from his body at my words, and he quickly repositions himself, hugging me closer breathing one last thing,

“Thank you,” a smile pricked at my lips as he spoke. Jinxx was gay. For some reason a smile glinted across my face, as clung to his body; I didn't want our hug to ever end, but I knew it would have to... I needed to talk to Ben again. We pulled back, a tear rolling out of his eyes as a smile holds his face. I softly reached up, wiping away his tear with my thumb then letting my hand slowly trail from his face, down to his jawline, and slowly then travel, and pause upon his chest as his arms are still wrapped around my waist. Bringing my other hand up to his chest, I watched as a small glimmer of joy danced within his eyes. Not really wanting to leave, but wanting to talk to Ben I allowed myself another precious minute of standing in his arms before leaving. As I walked into the room with the rest of the guys the bus stopped moving, causing me to trip and fall into Ben.

“Woah steady there, Jake,” he said, helping me back up to my feet. I smiled my thanked to him as everyone got off the bus; it turns out we stopped for Andy because his ADD was playing up and he needed to get out for a bit.

Taking this as my opportunity, I turn to Ben and quickly ask him if we could finish our conversation from earlier on, and luckily for me, he gratefully agreed, eager to hear the rest of our conversation. We walked to the bunks, because it would be easier to talk without anyone hearing us, like they would if they walked on and we were sat in the front room. I perched on my bed, remembering lying down with Jinxx for the night here. A warm smile covers my face as I think about it, but Ben sitting down in the bed opposite me pulls me away and I try to figure out where we left off.

“So... you were saying earlier that one of the reasons Ella broke up with you for Danny was because you spend too much time with the band?” He asked, prompting me,

“Yeah, she said I didn't spend enough time with her, and said I was a faggot and stuff because of how Jinxx and I act,”

“Right.... so that obviously make sense, I mean, you say that someone is a faggot because they mess about with a guy in their band,and you leave them for someone who publicly says they are gay with me... hmm... I can see no logic there. To be honest with you I think that is completely stupid.” Ben puts rather bluntly, not that I mind it, because it was utterly confusing in my mind as well. “But based on what I saw today, you and Jinxx are cute together, so I guess I could see that she could have been slightly jealous but she shouldn't have dealt with it like that” my cheeks began to heat up at the thought of Jinxx and I... why the hell it was causing such a reaction to me was beyond my recognition but, right now, I don't care. I stared down at my hands, which were resting in my lap, as I bit my lip,

“You... you think Jinxx and I are cute?” I ask daring to look up towards him, but too shy to look him in the eyes.

“Yeah, I mean, you and him talking about your wedding, hell that sounded so much cuter than Danny and mine, plus you two looked as though it could have honestly been serious if you wanted,” I smiled internally, forcing my lips to stay still so they couldn't show the rising emotions I felt inside. I honestly can't see why Ben pretends to be such a dick in his interviews, because when you actually get to know him you find he is nothing like that, but in fact one of the most caring guys you could meet.

“Aha, yeah quite a few people tend to say that really... I never really understood why, though”

“Well, being a witness other than a participator I can see where they are coming from, because it is honestly so cute,” I smile, looking out of the window as thoughts swam endlessly through my head. Calm down, Jake, what the hell is going on? I honestly didn't know right now.

It took me a while until I regained control of my thoughts, and it was only because Ben was questioning me if I was okay that I realised I must have zoned out for some time,

“Jake, what were you thinking about?” he asked?

“Huh? Oh..err.. it doesn't matter” I stutter, there is no way I could tell him.

“No, you were smiling, but you looked so hurt... I want to know what it was that was hurting you,”

“Errm... that no matter how much everyone thinks it will happen it won't,” I say, going to walk out so Ben couldn't ask me what I meant, because I am sure he would have worked it out.

“Jake, you were think about Jinxx weren't you?” my face began to heat up again, “Do you love him?” I feel as though a lump had just jumped into my throat not because I like Jinxx, but because he was implying I was in love with my best friend, and I wasn't. He was just a friend, and it gets weird when people think we are together. We are just friends.