Please, I am begging you; I am down on my knees before you, pleading with you to help me. Understand what I'm saying; understand what these poems mean; understand that I truly do need help. Understand all the smiling I do everyday isn't real. That this smiling is destroying me because it's hiding all of these bottled up emotions that are eating me alive and I just want to talk but I can't because I don't know how and...
Breathe.
Please, with this final plea, help me. Show me that there is good in this world; show me a reason to stay. I will stay if you tell me to. Just don't leave me here alone, don't make me suffer through this by my lonesome. I can't do this by myself, I can't keep pretending to be the strong person everyone expects me to be.
I'm sorry I never told you I loved you back. I wanted to, I wanted to more than anything. But everyone I ever said that to left me, and I didn't want to lose you too. Yet you manage to make me out like I'm this great person. What do you see in me?! Where is there any good inside of me?! I shut you down; I shut you out but you continue to stand there. Are you watching and waiting for me to fall apart? Are you wanting to help but don't know how?
I don't even know how you can help me, and here I am asking you to. I'll never admit to the fact I'm broken inside. I'll never admit to the fact that I need serious help. It's like I'm too scared to and all of the thoughts are at the front of my head just trying to escape to break down the flood gates and drown anyone in its proximity but I don't know how to talk to people about my problems without...
Breathe.
I'm only able to write them down as I do now, and even doing this is harder than anything I've ever done before. I just need to know that I'm going to be okay.
Please, just give me a reason to stay. Anything. I'm clinging onto the hope that you will and if you can't give me one there's no choice in trying; there's no choice in staying.
This is my final plea. Help me.
