How can I consider myself to be a good person when I'm so fake I'm made of plastic?
How can I claim I want to help people, when all I do is hurt everyone?
I just wish I had it in me to tell you everything I thought.
To tell you exactly how I felt about you, about everyone.
I just wish you could understand that these poems are about you.
But you seem to be so fixated on the idea that I'm this great friend and person that I'd hate to crush it.
I'd hate to take away this false hope you cling to.
I'm afraid that I'll have to watch you fall apart like I have.
Is this that good side of me, the side that doesn't want to hurt people?
Or is this a side of me that proves how two-faced I am?
I want to tell you, especially since I know how much you care about people being blunt with you.
But I can't bring myself to it.
I can't take away this person that you love.
Do you want to know why I can't say I love you back?
It's because I don't love you.
And I'm afraid if I say it, and you found out I didn't mean it, you'd lose faith in the meaning of the word love like I have.
I can't do that to you.
I can't do that to anyone.
I can't let you self destruct because of me.
I may not like you, but I can't.
I hope this is me being a good person.
I hope this is me doing the right thing.
To keep you from falling apart, I'm just going to have to deal with the thoughts destroying me.
