The Typical Insanity

W H A T A R E Y O U G O I N G T O D O

I was nudged awake by a Mexican janitor prodding me with the end of his broom. I squinted against the sharp sunlight blinding my eyes and sat up. I was on a rooftop and it was daytime, I don't remember coming out here. The janitor muttered something to himself before addressing me.

"Usted necesita salir! Este no es lugar para que usted venga y dormer!" His tone insinuated that he might've been telling me off.

"I'm sorry, I, I don't understand what you're saying." I say, getting up from where I seemed to have spent the night and saw a paper fall out of the pocket of my jeans. Picking it up, I could feel that I had never seen it before. But the way the words were written on it was so like mine except it felt wilder and frenzied. The black scrawling on it read

'Was it a dream?'

"You tell me." I mumbled under my breath. I was about to crumple the paper and throw it away when I noticed something written on the back. In black and white, were three words inscribed undeniably in my writing.

'You tell me.'

I was motionless for a moment. I was frozen not from the chill of the cold October morning, but rather from something I didn't understand. The janitor was watching me.

"Tú eres nadie, señor. Eres muy perturbado." He kept chanting these words like a prayer and for some reason, it just irritated me so much. I have no idea why, I've never felt peeved off at anything but this, this made me want to punch the Mexican.

"I. Do. Not. Speak. Your. Goddamned. Language." I bit out.

His eyes widened with fear and I watched him scramble back inside the building. It took me a moment to realize that I was the reason he ran away and that I was the cause of his horrified expression. I did want to call him back and apologize but I don't know what to apologize for. Instead, I left the roof.

I don't know where I left my car, I don't even know if I drove here considering how my pockets were empty except for my wallet. Maybe I should get something to eat, what time is it? The streets were as full and as busy as always. If today were any other day, I think I would be one of those people, rushing around under the pretense of a purpose. I wish I was one of those people right now. The sound of my stomach growling drew me away from my thoughts and brought me to the entrance of a small convenience store. Inside, it was more or less empty with a single clerk managing the store and a mother browsing the shelves with three toddlers in tow.

I grabbed a cold sandwich before making my way back to the counter where the mother was paying for her groceries. The entrance door opened, distracting me from the TV sitting on the corner, and I watch a large man swagger in. He was the type of man your mother would warn you to stay away from. I can't help but be intimidated by his dark demeanor and overblown meaningless tattoos. He walks up to the lady in front of me and strikes up a conversation with her. They seem to know each other but the woman appears uneasy. I glance at the children and find them looking at me, no, wait, they're looking behind me. I turn and see hooded man behind me. His face is obscured by dark shadows despite the cloudless day outside. I face forward and continue to watch a news report about a murdered entrepreneur on the small TV. The conversation in front of me stops abruptly with a slap.

"How dare you?!" The man growled. The woman lowered her hand, her fierce expression turning into of fear. Now, I've lived on this Earth for thirty four years, I am no stranger to violence and abuse. I know exactly how to confront this.

I leave it alone. Like a turtle I recede back into my shell, closing my eyes to reality.

I was about to step away and quietly exit the store but the hooded man had shifted. He was blocking the entrance and even though I couldn't see his eyes, I knew they were staring at me. Then a voice spoke from beneath a hood.