The Typical Insanity

i just need to see your H A I R D O

It's funny, no, utterly hilarious how I've never understood most of anything women said or did until Clementine said those five words. Oh, so her face is really close to mine, is she just checking my breath? No. It's called leaning in for a kiss, dumbass. Does she think I'm a teddy bear when she cuddles into me? Probably but also, no. She thinks I'm a guy and what do guys and girls do? I'm shuddering like an eight year old who found out about cooties. Yes, this is the ideal mindset for me right now, ew Clem's got cooties and she's going to give it to me! Run away, Nemo! Her eyes are closing and she's leaning closer, no, no, no, not on my watch!

"Hey, Clem, maybe you've got to think this through." I say easing out of the uncomfortable position. "What if, maybe, you're confusing like for, um, admiration! Or curiosity! See? There are so many things you could think you're feeling but they're actually just something else."

I glance at Nadia in case she might prove as a good distraction but find myself disappointed at the completely disinterested dog. She turns her head towards us and when our eyes connect she just seems to be saying 'I don't really give a fu--

"No, I think I'm pretty okay at distinguishing my emotions, Nemo. I do really like you."

"Okay but what if you're rushing into this? What if I don't feel the same way about you yet and I need time?"

Liar, Liar, pants on Fire.

"Then I'll wait." This is getting increasingly difficult. But why am I doing this? I do like her too, I've liked her for quite a while actually. I don't know, maybe it's the timing?

I sigh, mostly out of frustration from talking to myself for too long. "Alright Clem, do what you want, I can't stop you. But, just keep in mind, you've met me at a very strange time in my life."

She nods her head. "And that's why I'm still sticking around." She stands up and stretches. "Well, it is very late, no? I'm going to go to bed, goodnight, Nemo." Is it just me or does she sound more French than usual?

I would have said goodnight back but she was already closing my bedroom door. I end up sleeping on the ugly couch as what is now become the usual and for once I fall asleep without overthinking unnecessary things.

I wake up in the morning not to the sound of another piece of cheap ceramic breaking but the lovely warmth of a dog sitting on my forehead. I shoo Nadia off my pillow and start instinctively fumbling around for my glasses until I remember that Rien did something to them. The doorbell rings loudly and it's an unsettling sound hearing it from inside, let alone hearing it at all.

"I'll get it." Clementine walks over to the door wearing another one of my button up shirts. I always marvel at her ability to turn them into little dresses without cutting them up. She opens the door and outside there's a man with a little notepad.

"Good mornin' ma'am, is this the residence of a Mr. Nemo Carter?" I like his Jersey accent, very characteristic.

"Mhm, give me a minute to check if he's here." She closes the door and turns to me.

"Are you home, Nemo?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?"

"Well I don't know, I was just thinking you'd want to lay low or hide from the officials or something!"

I get up from the ugly couch, grabbing the Sherpa from yesterday just for caution, you know, like a disguise.

"Open the door already."

She opens door again.

"Mornin' sir, the name's Detective Young. I'm here to ask you a couple of questions, if that's alright."