The Typical Insanity

A W O N D E R F U L D A Y

I wake up in my white padded room. I realise it's Friday and I smile. I smile because it's going to be such a wonderful day that I wouldn't even remember where I am. Because it's Christmas morning and it's going to be a wonderful day.

The orderlies open the door with smiles and I smile back at them, I just can't wait to go to the recreational room and see my friends. The wheelchair they wheel me around in doesn't squeak and screech now and there are more windows in corridor! In the recreational room, the T.V loudly plays A Christmas Carol while the others who aren't watching decorate the large tree at the centre of the hall. Everyone's got smiles on their faces, big bright Colgate smiles like magazine cut outs stuck to their jaw. Nikkie spots me and hops on over, pulling something from her pocket.

"Merry Christmas Nemo," She holds up a small sprig of mistletoe. "I assume you know what to do under the 'toe."

"That I do." Our lips touch and when we pull away, our smiles are still there.

She goes back to decorating the tree and I continue to look around. Everything feels more, alive, happier in general. There're red and green streamers from wall to wall, an unusual smell of cookies in the air and a long table set behind the tree. Sandy's in a small pink apron setting down plates of food, which looks funny seeing as how she usually enjoys flaunting how much of a tomboy she is.

"Oh hey Moe! Merry Christmas! Mind giving me a hand here with these plates? We don't wanna keep everyone waiting for the big Christmas dinner!"

I thought it was morning, but I look out the window to see a snowy night. "Yeah sure, Sandy!"

She passes over plates of mashed potatoes with gravy and bowls of steamed carrots and parsnips, it smells heavenly compared to the gruel they feed us at the asylum, at least, the gruel they feed them at the asylum. Sandy hands over a dish of stuffed turkey.

"Wouldja like to do the honours of carving the turkey, Moe?"

"Really? Should I?"

Everyone takes their seats and nods in approval.

"I think everyone here thinks you shouldn't, Nemo." says Eric, the asylum's resident pathological liar.

"Well okay then." I take the knife from Sandy as she goes to her seat.

"Merry Christmas, everybody! A happy Hanukkah to Barry over there," Barry stops scratching at his face to wave. "And a happy new year guys!"

Suddenly lightning and thunder beat down. It flashes, blinding us for that instant, and it's dark again. There aren't any streamers anymore, the wallpaper peels off the walls and bulbs barely flicker.

"Guys?"

And everyone's replaced by mannequins, mannequins with cutout magazine smiles taped to their heads.

"Anyone?"

But my voice only barely echoes through the thunder and rain outside.

"What's the point? It's just another ruined holiday." I say it to myself but it echoes so much the voice distorts. It sounds almost evil, almost, Irish? What? The lightning strikes again but this time I open my eyes to the ceiling of a familiar office.

"Doctor Crane?"

I can't seem to move my head or body, something's holding me down.

"I'm right here, Nemo, no need to squirm or wiggle. Just one more shock and it'll be done, I promise."

"One more wha-" a burst of pain hits my head in that instant, it feels like bright white static surging through me. Even when it was over I could still feel the electricity in my head.

"Electroshock Therapy is a wondrous thing, isn't Nemo? Just by digging little prongs into your head and sending a few electric shocks into your brain can supposedly cure you of whatever mental illness ails you!"

I feel, frazzled. Like I've just woken up from a concussion.

"But of course, I have something to confess. I'm a bit of liar Nemo, though I find this method of treatment a load of bullshit, I must say it's really quite fun. And I know I said one last shock, but, like I said, I'm a liar."

When he laughs as the shocks come again, there's only thing I can think of.

It's such a wonderful day.