misery business :: cth

fifteen,,

a s h e l y

"and what makes you figure that?" he leaned in placing his chin on top his fist intently waiting for my answer. "because... i'll only get him hurt," i sigh. "it's hard to explain." i awkwardly laugh. "good thing i have all the time in the world right now! so i'm listening," he smiled making me sigh knowing he only has good intentions. "i... i know you keep saying calum will only hurt me but honestly calum is who you should really be worried about... i uhm ethan... my ex boyfriend is the reason we moved halfway around the world," i laughed. "he runs so many deals and so many people are scared of him i couldn't just leave to another state and expect to be fine." i said fiddling with my fingers. "but what did he do so badly to make you leave?"

"he... he beat me... well that's an understatement," i mumbled. "and i'm not talking about a random one time or a simple push..." i say trying to make my voice sound confident in hopes it wouldn't crack. "i was beat everyday for my mistakes, just for fun most of the time me talking out of line, saying something wrong or stupid or his drug filled rages he used to take out on me. i was just his fun little frail punching bag. telling me i didn't need to eat or my favorite one "are you really eating again?" i think he got off on humiliating me in front of all of his friends. let's not forget going home to my mom embarrassed, bruised and bloody every single night and hearing her cry at night because she thought one day i wouldn't come home and she'd find out i was dead." i pathetically laughed.

"but she's the one bruised and bloody lying in the hospital become of me, now do you see why? he's going to end up like she is maybe even worse." i sighed bringing my knees to my chest. "tell him just talk to calum he'll understand," he said sympathetically. "this is what you want me to tell him," i say slightly angered. "tell him i have a guy who could careless about anyone, does anything to get what he wants and he could get hurt or even if he could get over that he's stuck with me. i'm not much of what he deserves or anyone does," i laughed pathetically.

"so how about we talk about that and see how fast he runs for the nearest exit... i think i'll go order some coffee now. do you want anything?" i asked. "actually i'll go with you this conversation isn't over," he stood waiting for me to walk towards the counter. "what makes you think he'll run? and what makes you think he's to good for you because last i checked it was the other way around," he asked. making me wonder how stupid he is.

"who wouldn't?" i scoff. "i wouldn't and what do you really have to lose? i'm still here aren't i? if you tell him this and he wants nothing to do with you he wasn't worth your time or effort in the first place."

"but-"

"but nothing i don't want to hear it if he can't deal with this or what you've been through fuck him. i don't care if he is my friend. he just wasn't worth your time." he simply states. "two green teas , one bacon, egg and cheese english muffin and one sausage, egg and cheese english muffin." he smiled at the cashier pulling out cash. "i actually wanted a coffee," i mumbled.

"yeah i know, but it looks like you haven't got a goodnight sleep in days and coffee won't make it any better!" he giggled handing me my tea. "how about you go home and get a goodnight sleep and i'll stay here with your mom, you won't miss much i promise she's awake and doing fine just like the doctor said. i'll call you when she's almost ready to be released. yeah?"

-

"grab your things and let go," i really didn't have a choice. ashton basically forced me to leave but he was right i did need to sleep. we walked out to to the parking lot in silence, our hands intertwined. i was happy i finally found a friend like ashton. he's what i needed. his phone rang as we made it to ashton's black jeep. his face lighting up like a christmas tree, "it's luke," he chirps i only smile. getting into the car letting him take his phone call in privacy. ashton giddily got into the car a few minutes later like a child making me laugh. "oh luke says hi, and he hopes you're okay." his smiled as he started the car. the car was silent on the ride home except for the music softly playing. i snuck a peak every so often to see ashton still smiling his cheeks a bright color of crimson.

we finally parked in front of my house. "i sigh stepping out of the car. "thanks for everything, i promise i'll attempt to get some rest." i smiled waving as i walked to my door step. i unlock my door.

-

10:03

i huff frustrated at the pounding on the downstairs door. "one moment," i yell quickly looking for bottoms to put on. i quickly stumble down the stairs fixing my pants. "hold on," i yell unlocking the door only for calum to burst through quickly shutting the door. "there is a fucking spider out there its like the size of me almost... fuck that shit was scary it was crawling towards me." he panted trying to catch his breath. i just laugh shaking my head at the over dramatic boy. "cal what are you doing here?"

"hold on before i answer anything i need to see if that fucking spider is still try to kill me! what the hell? he's on your doorstep crawling up! i think he knows i was talking shit about him! what the fuck? he seriously wants to kill me. its not that serious spider!" he said frantically looking through the curtains. "this spider has some serious fucking issues,"

"yeah the spider is the only one with serious issues!?" i mumbled. "but before you kick me out to get eaten alive by that weird looking spider i wanted to talk" he nervously laughed. "i could not stop thinking about this morning and everything that happened; how i acted, what you said..." he just paused for a moment.