Torn (Book 2)

6. Josh

Chapter 6. Josh

Everyone has somewhere to go after college. Be a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer or something.. Even some of the failures get a job or have a future after college. But I don't.. Niall is gonna go back to Ireland and try out for the X factor. Zayn wants to be a English teacher and go to NYC with Harry.. Liam is gonna be a fireman in hopefully Canada he said cause he wants to meet Justin Bieber.. Harry is gonna go to NYC and try to get on Broadway.. But for me.. Nothing.. All of my friends are going places or going somewhere in their life's. I'm just gonna be stuck working at a coffee shop with no life. I might visit Niall but he will be too famous to remember me. Niall told me to be a drummer but I don't know. I mean is that really what I want to do for the rest of my life? The traveling is a lot.. And having people yell at you if you hit the wrong beat.. I could deal with it but then I won't be with Niall.. But if he does get into the X factor then he wouldn't care either way. Maybe i'll just work at Nandos or be a hobo.. Yeah, that's what I will do. I mean even Joey knows what he's gonna do.. He's gonna be a piano player. I still can't think of anything to do! It has to be something fun or I can't do it.. It has to be something I can do or it has to be easy.. I don't know what i'm more sad about.. That I don't have a future or that all my closet pals are leaving. NYC, Ireland and Canada.. And Joey will probably be all over the world being a god at playing piano.. I don't want to think about it but I know soon I will have to. When I told Niall I don't want to play drums for a living he said i'm letting go of my dreams. Maybe he's right.. Maybe I am letting go of my dream.. But i'm not. I'm gonna play drums epically in MSG in NYC and rock the place. It will be better than MJ or Justin Bieber. Okay maybe not MJ cause I can't dance or Justin Bieber cause I can't sing. So like any other drummer. I'll play for a great band and that's what I can do. I won't be a hobo or be a loner. I have a dream. My dream is like a star, it will always be there but it won't come to you, you have to catch it or reach for it.. People will think i'm crazy but yes, this is what I want and this is what i'm gonna work for. If I put my mind to something I can do anything.. I just.. I don't know. I doubt it will ever happen. Well! I have like 7 months till I finish college so I can think then and maybe Louis can help. Not just Niall cause Niall always tells me I can do anything.. Whatever I guess..

I sighed as I got out of the car. It was already 10pm and college starts tomorrow. I looked over where Niall's car should be and it wasn't there.. He probably went to a party or something. I grabbed my tea, phone and keys and ran up the stairs to the flat. I don't know if Joey is home.. I don't want to have another odd moment with him. Last time that happened it ended with us talking about how were gonna die.. I don't know if I was drunk when he had that talk but I know we had it for some reason. I tried to open the door without the key and it worked. I sat my coffee on the counter and saw Joey watching the telly. "Welcome home" Joey smiled and put his feet up on the coffee table. "Hi" I mumbled as I walked to my room. Don't look at him.. Don't look at him.. When I got in my room I shut my door and sighed. The white walls now had black stars all over them, even on the ceiling, cause Niall thought it would be cool.. well they do glow in the dark so I guess it's cool. I heard a knock on the door. I walked towards the door and swung it open. "Yes?" "I was wondering if you wanted to watch the telly with me.. I'm bored" Joey laughed as he walked into my room and sat on my bed. "Sure, just put something on" I rolled my eyes at his weirdness. He took the remote off the night stand and turned it on. "Who was watching Justin Bieber?" "Niall" I smirked and looked at Joey. I noticed he was staring at me cause when I looked at him he turned his head. Joey put on Glee and just sat there. "Do you really like this show" I laughed at Joey who was staring at the telly that had Kurt and Blaine singing on it. "Yes now hush" Joey was too in the show to notice me. I looked through my closet and found a random top that had fake white paint splattered on the black tee. I found black sweats and took them out of the big closet filled with crap. I slipped off my top and put on the black tee. I started to slip off my pants and felt someone looking at me. I looked at Joey and he turned his head like a owl again. I sighed and put the sweats on quickly. I left the dirty clothes on the floor. I got on the bed next to Joey and snuggled my head on his chest. He played with my hair as I watched Glee. Me and Joey will always be best friends. There's no doubt about that. But never more than friends again.. I just.. Don't wanna see him so hurt again.. I never wanted to hurt him.. It just happened... It would be a lie if I say I don't still have feelings for him..

-*-

"JOSH" I heard a Irish accent scream. My bed was shaking.. I opened my eyes and saw Niall jumping on the bed and Joey was next to me. I saw Joey stir in the bed. "Niall, why are you up so early" I sighed and sat up. "Cause today we start college, silly" Niall laughed as he jumped off the bed. I sighed and looked at the clock on the night stand. It was only 6:30am.. "We have 30 minutes till we have to be there. C'MON!" "Ni, classes don't start till 8" I sighed. "Oh.. Oh well! WAKE UP JOEY AND WE CAN EAT!!" Niall ran out of the room yelling. I smiled to myself and looked at Joey's sleeping figure. "Joey.." "What" Joey sighed and turned over. His eyes were locked with mine. We just sat like this for a while till I got out of bed. "Niall wants us up for he can eat" I threw a pillow at Joey. Joey got out of bed and shuffled down the hall. I felt something when I looked into Joey's eyes.. Like.. well I don't know. Just something. But I love Niall.. I don't understand why I keep having these moments with Joey. Were just best friends that used to be more. "JOSHIE" Niall yelled. I walked to the kitchen to where Niall and Joey were covered in pancake mix. "What happened" I laughed. "Joey was mixing the pancake crap and it exploded.." Joey smiled at me and shrugged. "Get cleaned up. I'll clean the mess and we can bother Liam yeah?" Niall nodded and walked towards our room to grab clothes. "Want me to help you?" "You'll make a bigger mess Joey" I laughed and grabbed a towel from the counter. "Alright" Joey walked passed me and walked towards his room. I bit my lip as he walked passed me. I tried to look down but when I heard his bedroom door close I looked up at it. I sighed as I just started to clean up. I didn't know it was gonna be so hard to live with your ex and your boyfriend.. I don't even want to think about this now. I almost used all the towels to clean up the kitchen. I walked to the washer and shoved them in it. The washer and dryer is like part of the kitchen. There's a closet where we keep some food and then there's a washer and dryer. It's a pretty big closet I guess. Niall walked out of the bathroom trying to figure out his tie. He was wearing the uniform, it was black pants, a white polo and a black tie with the school's logo on it. We couldn't wear hats.. and I think that's dumb.. But we can wear any shoes we want.. I walked over to Niall and did his tie. He smiled and blushed. "Thanks" he mumbled. I nodded and pecked his lips. Joey walked out all ready. This day could be worse.. But so far it's fine..

-*-

College isn't that hard. Yet anyways. It was the first day, that's why it was so easy I think. College isn't fun but it's better with Niall and Joey. I walked into the flat and closed the door behind me. Joey went to find a job and Niall went to Nandos. There's not many other people in the college. I don't know why but it's still cool. It's a big school.. Niall had to call me cause he got lost. It was funny. I sat down my bag on my bed. I sat on my bed and turned on the telly. I walked over to the window. There was just a bunch of trees and cars. I closed the window and watched Sponge-bob.. There was really nothing else on besides boring crap. But today I couldn't help but notice Joey staring at me. Even though I was sitting right next to me. It was quiet odd. I heard a knock on the door. I looked at the door and sighed. I walked towards the door and opened it. I looked up and it was him.. "Are you gonna let me in" he smirked as he leaned on the frame of the door. His brown eyes sparkling with every smile.. His brown shiny hair was in a tiny quiff. "Joshie" he laughed as he walked right passed me. I closed the door behind him and turned to him. "Why are you here" I mumbled. "I thought why not see old Joshie. And so that's what brought me here." He picked up a picture up a picture of me and Niall and smirked. "He's now your boyfriend aye?" "Put that down" I sighed and took it from him. "Why are you really here Ben?" "To see my brother" he smirked as he jumped on the couch.. I heard someone opening up the door. "Oh looks like Niall is home" Ben smiled. "Don't touch him Ben!" "No promises Josh" Ben smiled...