Panic Attack - H.S. AU

Chapter Five

-Valerie-

I hated my job.

I hated showing up to work. I hated being there for hours and hours. I hated memorizing orders. I hated making conversation with drunks. I hated being hit on every twenty minutes. I hated the sleazy guys and sloppy girls. I just really hated being a bartender.

It was a fun job two years ago, but I didn't want a job anymore; I wanted a career

The one week I was actually given off, I had to come in and cover my coworker and friend, Louis. If anyone else had asked me to cover them I'd loudly laugh at them over the phone before hanging up, but I could never do that to Louis. He was the one who convinced me to become a bartender in the first place and insisted on training me himself. We'd been close ever since.

After countless hours of working, my shift came to end and it was time for me to help my boss, Albert, close the bar. By three in the morning, I was free to go home.

After a long cab ride, my hideous apartment suddenly looked like heaven. As soon as I walked in, I collapsed onto my couch feeling too tired to make it to my bed.

Just as I was about to close my eyes and fall asleep, I heard someone knock on my door.

At first, I tried to ignore it in hopes that whoever it was would take a hint and realize how insane it was to knock on someone's door at three in the morning.

Unfortunately the knocking continued, so I was forced to get up and answer the door.

"Would you stop knocking? I'm coming." I complained.

When I opened the door, Zayn was standing behind it.

"Hey" He quietly greeted me.

I almost didn't recognize him with his bed hair, wrinkled clothes, and unshaven face. Sure we'd spent nights together and he obviously didn't wake up looking dapper with his hair gelled back in a brand new suit, but there was something about him that was off. The bags under his eyes were prominent and he wasn't smiling that brilliant smile of his.

I invited him inside and told him to sit on the couch. I watched as he nervously twiddled his thumbs, a frown resting upon his face.

"Zayn, it's almost four in the morning." I sat beside him and forced him to look at me. "What's wrong?"

There was a long pause before he asked, "Do you love me, Val?"

I raised a brow at him. "Of course I love you. Why would you ask me that?"

"Well for one thing, you don't seem too excited about our engagement."

"W-why would you say that?" I nervously asked him.

Zayn remained quiet and I immediately put two and two together.

"Angie" was all I had to say and Zayn confirmed it with a nod of his head.

"Do you even want to marry me?" He sounded broken and I knew if I didn't act fast he would break down.

I leaned in to kiss him, but he backed away from me. The look on his face was cold and unfamiliar. "Answer the question, Valerie" He demanded.

I couldn't even look at him.

This man--this wonderful and amazing man, who could have anyone in the world wanted me. Then there was me, a selfish woman who was spending her days giving her attention to another man.

"I would love to marry you some day." I answered him honestly.

"But not anytime soon"

"I'm sorry, Zayn. I'm just not ready right now."