Panic Attack - H.S. AU

Chapter Sixteen

-Valerie­-
I sighed as I laced my fingers through Harry's. My head lay comfortably on his lap with the rest of my body sprawled across his couch. Harry's green eyes were focused on the television in front of him. He seemed really interested in whatever movie was playing at the moment, but the only thing on my mind was him.

It was strange not having to feel guilty about being so close to him. I was free to do whatever I pleased.

"Harry," I spoke up again, trying to grab his attention.

He glanced at me a couple times and when he noticed my exaggerated pout, he chuckled and turned off the TV. "Yes, Valerie, "he replied with a smile.

"Does this feel weird to you?" I asked him.

"What? Us?"

I shamefully nodded my head and got up from his lap so that I could properly sit next to him.

"Do you think it's weird?"

I crossed my arms at my chest. "Did you really just answer my question with a question?"

"Didn't you just do the same?"

I playfully slapped his arm as he laughed at me. "C'mon I'm trying to be serious."

"Okay, okay. I'll be serious." He took a deep breath before continuing. "It's only weird because of one particular detail about you that's been bothering me the minute we became...close."

"And what's that?" I asked, even though I already knew what he was going to say.

"Who's mystery fiancé?" He questioned.

I remained silent and the longer I kept my mouth shut the more disappointed Harry looked.

He looked away from me and sighed. "I don't get it. I've told you everything there is to know about me and if I didn't I wouldn't hesitate to tell you anything else."

"I know but--"

"You know it wasn't easy for me, but I still did it for you." He cut me off. "Do you not trust me or something? I don't remember doing something that made me untrustworthy."

"Listen to me. I've told you things that I never told my ex-fiancé and honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed that I've connected with you more in a month than I ever did with him in a year. If you never came along, I would've been his wife, not someone else's significant other and I want to leave him where he belongs, in my past."

I immediately thought back to the incident with Niall. Harry's dear friend could've easily told him the truth and I could've just as easily been in the middle of a test at the moment, but I wasn't prepared to tell him the whole truth just yet.

"Whatever you say," Harry said bitterly. He then took the TV remote in his hand and turned the television back on.

I watched as he ignored me and kept his eyes focused on the screen. I ran my fingers through my short hair in frustration and began to gather my things. I then stood to my feet and said, "I'd better get home. My laundry won't do itself."

All he said was, "Okay," without even looking at me.

I planted a kiss on his cheek and told him goodnight, but all he did was mumble a goodbye.

I then let myself out of his apartment and hailed a cab to take me home.

Once I arrived at my apartment, I headed straight for the shower. After removing my clothes, and running hot water. I stood still and began to cry. I wasn't even all that sad about what happened. Sometimes, I just cried for no reason. As I cried I felt my chest tighten and my breaths shorten.