Panic Attack - H.S. AU

Chapter Seven

-Valerie-

I couldn't believe I actually agreed to get high with Louis just an hour after I got into an argument with my mom.

"Pot could honestly end war. Instead of fighting each other, we could just offer pot brownies and the other countries would be all like 'hey let's stop fighting' and then bam, world peace." Louis enlightened me with his theory.

I was too high to pay attention to him so all I said was, "Wow, I haven't been this high since high school."

We paused for a second and both burst into laughter over my unintentional pun.

"Don't you feel better?" He asked me.

"Hell yeah." I said through a laugh.

When we returned to normal, Louis offered me more, but I turned him down.

"Nope, that was a one time thing and it'll never happen again."

"Hey, I'm surprised you had one in the first place." He teased me.

I playfully rolled my eyes at him and laughed.

After glancing at his phone, Louis realized he had to leave if he wanted to be on time for work.

I told him to let himself out because I was feeling too lazy to walk him over and say goodbye the traditional way.

"Um Val" I heard Louis say.

"What?" I impatiently replied.

"Could you come here for a sec?"

I groaned, but walked over to him anyway. "Louis, are you seriously incapable of using a—"

I paused midsentence when I saw who was standing in the hallway.

"Valerie...hi" He said.

"Um hello Harry." I awkward greeted him. "W-what are you doing here?"

I didn't have to look at Louis to know he was judging me very hard at the moment. He'd met all my friends at least once or twice, but he'd never met Harry and Louis had never even heard of Harry, he probably knew that neither did Zayn.

"I was around and I thought I'd stop by" Harry said. He then glanced at Louis and added, "But you and your boyfriend seem busy so—"

"He is not my boyfriend." I quickly cut him off.

"Oh c'mon Val. We have one fight and you're breaking up with me?" Louis frowned. "I thought we were stronger than that!"

I widened my eyes at him in anger, but Louis continued to mess with Harry.

"We've been together for five years. She's been bugging me to pop the question, but c'mon I'm a young guy. I don't want to be tied down, you know?" Louis said as he elbowed Harry.

"You've had your fun, Louis. You can go now." I dismissed him.

He continued to laugh and felt the need to say, "Text me later, babe" before he finally walked away.

"I apologize for his behavior." I told Harry. "Come on in."

After letting him in, I shut the door behind me. Harry was awkwardly standing in the middle of my living room in silence, his eyes fixated on the floor.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him.

"What? I'm fine." He answered a little too quickly.

"Are you sure?" I asked him. "There's a nice, cozy couch right next to you that you're ignoring, you know."

He glanced at the couch and then back at me before sitting down. "Sorry, I just—I just wanted to see you."

"Really?" I asked while sitting beside him. "Why?"

"I don't know. I was freaking out earlier and when I'm around you..." He drifted off. "Sorry, I probably sound like a freak don't I?"

I couldn't help but smile at the nervous boy in front of me. "Not at all, Harry."

He looked at me, but quickly looked away when his eyes met mine. "So, um, how are you?"

"Honestly, I've been better." I sighed. "I'm glad you're here though."

"You are?" He asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, today's been pretty rough. I got into multiple arguments today and it's been stressing me out."

"What's the problem?" Harry curiously asked me.

Naturally, I hesitated to reply. I didn't want to lie to Harry, but I wasn't ready to open up to him either.

"Everyone wants me to be this perfect girl that does whatever she's told. A girl that never does anything wrong, stays at home, and keeps her mouth shut, but that's not me and I'm tired of people trying to decide who I am. It's like they don't even care about what I want." I vented.

Harry nodded his head like he understood where I was coming from and I just loved that about him. "So what do you want?"

I paused, realizing that no one had ever asked me that question before. "I-I don't know...everything! I want to meet new people, taste new foods, do something different, and maybe even travel the world with someone I care about when the time comes."

Harry made me feel like it was okay to speak my mind and be myself. I didn't have to worry about him talking me out of my "unrealistic fantasies" as my mother would've said. When it came to us, our conversations were never about whether or not we agreed on something, it was just us listening to one another and that's all a conversation should ever be.

"That's honestly really—"

"Corny?" I cut him off feeling a bit embarrassed having confessed my dreams.

"I was going to say awesome." He told me. "In fact, I may have a few connections that could make that happen."

"Believe me, I've been offered help before, but I'm too stubborn to allow someone to clear the path for me." I explained.

"Okay."

"Okay?" I raised a brow at him. "That's it?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "What do you mean?"

"You're not going to fight me on this? Force me to take your offer?"

"I want you to be happy." He told me. "I can't force that."

I stared at him until he finally dared to look at me and I found myself getting lost in his pretty green eyes.

"I could kiss you right now." I said without thinking.

As soon as those words left my mouth, both of us started to blush.

I couldn't believe I just said that.

I didn't mean it. I was just caught up in the moment. It was a complete accident. I couldn't mean it.

Hours ago, I had been set on breaking my promise to Harry so I could focus on my relationship with Zayn and in just seconds I had almost thrown all of that away. I had to be faithful to Zayn whether we would be married or not. He was still my boyfriend and I still loved him.

"Harry" I started.

"Don't apologize." He said. "I have something I want to tell you."

"What?" A thousand scenarios of how this could play out came to mind, but the one that actually happened was not one of them.

"I want to tell you what happened that night--the night you found me standing on the roof of that building." He told me.

"What do you mean? I saw everything. Didn't I?"

"Yes, but remember when you said there must have been a reason why I chose that building in particular?"

I nodded my head and with a sigh Harry said, "You were right."