More than friends (Kirko Bangz)

Chapter 19.♥

* Doctors appointment *

This is it.. I thought to myself. Now or never. Within the next few days we'd find out our fate. Lexus was going to get a blood test and a pee sample and would be able to find out within 24 hours. To me, that was good. We wouldn't have to wait weeks on the edges of our chairs to find out the news!

You could tell how nervous and scared she is. She's very quiet, not much of an appetite, and has that little shake in her hands. I made sure she drank a lot of water and juice, and told her she should eat. The only thing she had all day was peanut butter and crackers. Better than nothing I suppose.

At times like this I'd wanna call my mom and vent to her. But ever sense Houston, I don't feel comfortable doing that now. Deep down I know she'd be okay with me talking to her about Lexus and the chance of us starting a family, but a part of me was saying she'd be mad, and wouldn't want Lexus to carry my child. That it would all be a waste of my time, and I'm not ready to be a father.

All I really wanted to tell her was that if she really is pregnant, I'm scared. That's not even the right word, I'm petrified! But at the same time I was happy, and promised myself that I'd be the best father to this baby that I could ever be. I grew up fatherless, I didn't want my son or daughter going through the same thing. Lexus grew up without a father too, and the majority of her family aren't good influences and were never around. I know she wants to bring a child into the world with a strong man by her side and a family.

Lexus will never really admit it, but all she ever wanted was a family. Blood meant a lot to her though, so she never felt 100% accepted into my family. But she saw how my family is, how close most of us are, and how we have each others back for everything. She never had that. All she ever had was her mom, and me.

I couldn't imagine growing up the way she did. I say that all the time. I didn't have a carefree or easy childhood, but compared to hers, I was one of those rich and spoiled kids living in a Mansion. Sometimes, I realized, seeing others struggle and dealing with their hard times, makes you realize how good your life actually is. If you look at the bigger picture, in most cases, your life isn't so bad, you're just focused on the negatives. I had a close family, a great mother, so much support from my family, love, respect and care, and all that ever crossed my mind is how my father could leave all of us like it was nothing, and other drama that went on in my life.

To me, Lexus was the perfect person to have a baby with. Mainly because she's a strong person, has patients and a big heart. Yes, she has walls built up around her heart, but she let me climb over and see who she was inside. She trusts me just as much as I trust her, maybe even more. I know who she is deep inside, and that person is beautiful and worth every dime any person could ever spend on her.

- - -

I walked into the living room and seen her laying on the couch. Her shirt was lifted up, she rested her hand over her naval, looking down.

"You won't feel anything yet." I said, catching her by surprise.

"You scared me, don't do that.." She said with a nervous laugh. "Can I be honest?"

I nodded yes.

"I'm scared.. So, so, scared. A baby is such a huge responsibility, do you understand that?" She sat up as I took the spot next to her. I took her hand into mine.

"I understand. I've been thinking about it all day to be honest. I'm scared too, I won't lie."

"What if it's true..? You know, that I'm pregnant.."

"Than its true." I smiled. "I won't be mad or anything. I told you already I want a baby."

"But right now?"