EMOtion-less

Knife to Skin

"The marks humans leave are too often scars."
-John green, The Fault in our Stars

*warning, self harm*
//not edited//
//Naruto Uzumaki pov//

"Naruto, promise me you'll go!"

My father looked down at me with pleading eyes- almost completely broken. He was putting on a fake smile, but I could read through his lies like a book. I too have worn that smile- the smile of lies and false happiness, but that stayed in the past. The so called new life I led was that one of a happy teen with a bright future and shades along with that bright future- good looking shades of course. Not to mention the occasional cash load it comes with, right?

But sometimes I wish I could cry more.
"Yeah, yeah old man. I get it, okay?" I took my book bag and exited the car. I could see my dad wave at me from inside as I entered the small shack-like building. Here I am, for the thousandth time. I honestly could think of any other place to be at than here. My house, the hospital, the gym, jail. Literally anywhere else but here. You might be wondering- where could he be? What horrid place could be worse than a hospital, the gym, or jail?

That my friends- is self harm support group. You heard me- a self harm support group. The group where depressed people, become 10x more depressed within minutes. What people don't understand is that when you're depressed, you want to be alone. Being understood helps about 0%. I mean- shoving you in a room with others who cut, and hearing a shit ton of depressing stories- meanwhile seeing the amount of cuts others have, only makes you want to cut more. It completely demolishes your faith in humanity.

You see others depressed- and you just think, 'hey- he's depressed too, I guess I'm not the only one fucked up, let's be fucked up together'. This is because nobody in that group wants to get any better- they want to cut and cry and suffer, but I don't.

So far- I haven't cut for an entire year! The thing is, my father forces me to keep coming to these meetings, because he doesn't trust me or whatever. He thinks that the moment I leave the group, will be the moment I take out a knife and continue my cutting.

"Take a seat Naruto, nice to see you again." My support group leader, Iruka, gave me a smile and pointed towards a seat. My assigned seat today was next to Gaara and Shikamaru. Also known as, The blood thirsty knife, and, too lazy to care cutter. That's right- they give us fucking nicknames based on how we act. Gaara honestly gave me fucking chills- he and I talk, but he always ends up changing the subject and talks about how much blood he can squeeze out until he starts feeling dizzy. Meanwhile old lazy bones Shikamaru cuts because he can't deal with life- and cutting actually makes him feel accomplished at something. Yeah- being here is definitely gonna better my health, right?

I sit down rather awkwardly, and look around the room to face our fresh new set of victims. They all seemed familiar- me, Gaara, Shikamaru, Karin, Shino, Tenten... And I think that's about it. I watch as Karin repeatedly combs her hair to look decent, although looking decent at a self harm group benefits nobody, and Tenten tries her best to hide her cutting tools from the group leader. To be honest I would have never guessed Tenten cut herself, if I saw her out in the open- she would have looked like a perfectly normal girl. Yet when she stands up to speak about herself, and why she does what she does, she looks dry and helpless- like she already lost all hope.