"well Sarah"Luke started.
"when you asked about Racheal we all thought it would be better if we told you when we got home"added Beau.
"Well when she got home after the party, Rachel got home to her sister there and when she was about to sit down on the sofa next to her she colapsed and her sister checked if she was still breathing and sadly she had sufferd a really bad asmer attack and died"finshed James.
"No.......this can't of happend, you must be kidding me, she has to still be alive"I said my voice beginng to break.
Before anyone could say anything else I quickly shot up and ran up the staris, and began to cry half way up the stairs, I went into my bathroom and looked for something sharp, there was nothing, I rememberd that there was a knife in my draw for self-defence just incase anything happend and someone tried to do anything [Do bother asking lmao]I slowly paced back into my bedroom and grabbed the knife out the box and went back into the bathroom.
My body was just so weak, I could feel everything being drained out of me, and now I was struggling to breath, I slid down the wall with the kinfe still in my hand, my nose running, I was starting to sweat, everything was getting to much for me I couldn't believe that my very frist best friend I met when I first started school had just died, she was there for me every single day no matter if we argued or did something bad we where there.
I rested my arm against my leg and all I could do is just stay there still not being able to do anything at all, all I could think of was why did God have to take her now why not later on in life, my head was banging, I grabbed the knife next to me and placed it on my wrist and tried to slow my breathing down,it didn't help, it just got worse, the knife in my hand was now on my wrist all I could do now is slice it across, the pain was so much but I had to carry on, next to the fresh cut and sliced the knfie again and agian and agian, darkness began to take over and everything was fading away, I had cuts all the way up my arm and I could feel the warm liquid going down my arm and on to my leg the pain was getting so much, all I could do again was just lay there my head resting against the wall, my arm on my lregs and my body still as anything, I knew James was going to go mad about me doing this but I couldn't help it, I was so depressed and drained that I found out that news I didn't know what else to do,I tryed to keep my eyes open but the more I tryed it just didn't work so I just stop and layed there with my eyes closed and blood going everywhere.
15 mintues later Beau came rushing in to check if I was alright.
"Sarah..ar-ar-are you alright..Sarah can you hear me.. oh fuck JAMES COME HERE QUICK...Sarah listen to me, it is okay we are going to help you out stay with us"Said Beau his voice trembling.
James came rushing up the stairs and ran into my bathroom.
"Oh my fucking god is she okay...Beau..Oh fuck.. Is she still breathing..no no no no..Sarah please wake up, we will help you please..Beau and get something to clear her wrist with"Said James his trembling too
James came next to me and held my other hand and Beau ran and grabbed on of his skinny black ties and came rushing back and wrapped it gently round my wrist, I tried so hard to open my eyes but I couldn't I was too weak too, all I could do is move my fingers the slightist bit to let james and Beau I was alight, they both lifted me up and put me on my bed and James sat next to me and Beau stayed close by, James was stroking my hair waiting for another response so know that I was alright for sure, Beau went down and told everyone the news and James close to me that I knew he was there with me and that I was going to be alright and there was nothing to worry about.
I tried and tried to open my eyes and they only opend the slightst bit, so all I could do again was just relax and just wait until I got my stregnth back, I felt my self going away into another world a bit like a near death experiance but I knew I was still next to James in my bedroom on my bed, there was an image in my mind of earlyer in my life where I was being beaten up and raped, it was horrid, I flug up and opend my eyes.
"Woah,easy, are you okay Sarah thank god you are alive I thought you wern't going to make it,im so sorry we had to tell you the news Sarah, I really didn't want to but everyone one else thought it was best for you"James said getting tears in his eyes.
"All I can say James is im sorry"
"Don't be babe, I just hope you won't do it agian you scared the life out of me and I didn't know what to do, I really didn't think you would make it at all"
I couldn't say anything I felt so bad for cutting and but I couldn't help it, my wrist was so painful, Istill had tears in my eyes and they came rolling down my face and James wiped them away.
"It's alright don't cry, I know it is a really tough time for you but you know that we have to live with the loss and get on with it and you know that all of us are here right by your side, and we aare here to sort your problems out, babe we all love you so much and always willand no matter what happens in life we will all be together and live a happy life, I just really hope that you don't cut again, do you promise me"
"I promise you"
James kissed me and I sunggled into him and James put the tv on for us to watch and we layed together very peacefully laughing together, making me fell better, even though I have a very bad pain in my wrist I knew that everything would be alright and that I am going to live a happy life and that no matter what everyone is going to be there for me and always cheer me up im so glad to be with the janoskians and with my new and old best friends, I have never been so hapy in my life with how long I have been in aussie for and what the time has taken me though.
[A/N well I hoped you all liked that I would of uploaded earlyer but I had to do exams all last week and I went to London on frieday for a schhol trip so it has been a crazy week now that all my exams have gone by I will upload sooner and get the chapters to you :) LYASM Jamie Leigh:)]
